On This Episode of As the Suck Band Turns

We have an ongoing feature here where when bands who suck continue to fight one another. The fighting reminds us of a soap opera or a Spanish Telenovella, depending on the breast sizes of those involved.

On this episode of As the Suck Band Turns, we pan into a dusty interior with white sheets on the furniture. Vocalist Jay Gordon of Orgy is sitting with his dad (Lou Gordon) behind him with his hand confidentally on his son's shoulder. Across the room sits former Orgy members Amir Derakh (guitar) and Bobby Hewitt (drums) with Ryan Shuck (guitar) on speaker phone. Jay Gordon is the first to speak:

Jay: "I'm not saying I wouldn't consider playing with the all original lineup at some point, and there has been correspondence between the [other] original members and myself. This situation is a good thing, and not intended to piss anyone off or anything. I have spoken to [fellow original ORGY members] Amir [Derakh, guitar] and Bobby [Hewitt, drums] about the situation, and neither seemed to be angry in any way. Bobby is making movies, and Amir and Ry [Ryan Shuck, guitar] are doing JULIEN-K. I am friends with all of the ORGY cast, so please don't trip. I will keep everyone posted as I know more. Thanks for being UNDERSTANDING..." Source Facebook post

::Lou Gordon is standing behind Jay nodding in approval.::

Amir: Ryan and I have both discussed recently with a booking agent representing a possible ORGY tour that we wanted to be a part of it. We only had two conditions: 1) To have AS MANY of the original members involved as possible, and 2) That Lou Gordon [Jay Gordon's father] not be involved.

"We have always stated that we are only interested in doing a reunion under these conditions. We are all grownups here and can do this ourselves.

"Ryan and I have stated MANY times that we will MAKE TIME to do this! I don't understand why this is still being used an an excuse. If this is planned out properly, we can do it, people! Really!

"Honest truth is they don't want us to be a part of it...

"I also reached out last weekend by text message to Jay to try and set up a phone call for us to talk. I got a very long message on Facebook instead. Jay asked me not to re-post any of it and I am respecting his request." Source Facebook post

Ryan speaks up from the phone: ORGY — the actual BAND ORGY — is NOT 'OK' with this 'new' ORGY 'thing.' We think it's ridiculous. Seems like an Axl Rose move to us, and we don't want to be associated with it at all. 

"We have told Jay for five years that we would be happy to do the REAL ORGY — with ALL the original members, and all the original unique gear that makes ORGY such an amazing live act. NO — we are not 'too busy' to do ORGY. In fact, for the 20th time at least, our agent approached us to possibly do ORGY BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR, and Amir and I said 'YES,' if it's the REAL ORGY. Not a hybrid, no impersonators — Jay, Paige, Bobby, Ryan and Amir. The real band. We have too much respect for what we all created TOGETHER to stand by and watch it turn into a COVER band that goes out and fools our fans into buying tickets thinking they are going to see the REAL band ORGY. ORGY is a BAND. That's why it's cool. It isn't a person.

"I will have a lot more to say this week, on every outlet available to me. In the meantime, we are somehow going to fit a DEAD BY SUNRISE show into our 'busy' schedules.... somehow Chester Bennington, a truly big rock star, easily works in LINKIN PARK and DEAD BY SUNRISE — weaving in between JULIEN-K and all the other stuff we do... Its not an "either/or" situation... We can do EVERYTHING — IF Jay actually wanted to. Somehow... we went around the world four times in the last year and a half... and still had MONTHS and MONTHS off. Weird. If the REAL ORGY wanted to tour, we could have scheduled it. "I'm sick of repeating myself." Source? You guessed it the same Facebook page

Jay: Hey everyone, just so everyone is clear, I'm not gonna feed into any negativity, and want each and every one of you to know, that I respect all of your opinions, individually and collectively. 

"This will serve as my only response to any of the discord between myself and the other members of the original lineup.

"With the good comes the bad, and not everyone will agree, as we all know. All you can do is keep your head up, and move forward. That's all that is being done on my end, with no animosity, or guilt, for lack of trying. 

"Things like this are hard for people to accept, and for those who are disappointed, I apologize.

"Quite frankly, I'm a little baffled, as I offered JULIEN-K a co-billing on the tour, and thought it would be cool if we could all get up there, and play a few songs with most of the original members at the end of each show. If that is not a sign of respect, I don't know what is. I have performed with them on stage to promote their efforts, without hesitation. 

"Believe what you must, but I am not trying to make anyone else look bad in order to make myself look good, that's for sure. 

"In the grand scheme of things, making music, shouldn't be this political. I never started ORGY to become a politician, nor do I have any intention of acting like an asshole behind close doors, and throwing up fake-ass, pageant waves to the people, to appear to be something I'm not. I'm just trying to go out and have some fun. That's what I enjoy doing, and I can only hope the same goes for everyone else.
"That being said, I am looking forward to seeing all of you on the road at some point very soon!" Source? Fuck yea Facebook!

::End scene::

What does this mean to fans? First off, Orgy would have to have fans and not just Jay Gordon's father Lou. Secondly, who gives a shit about this band? Their first and only hit was a cover song.

Annoymous Internet commenter: Well Craig, you must care if you are posting about it. Go suck a dick I fucked your mom's fisted pussy LOLOMGWTFBBQDOA!!11!!!1

Craig: Dear Annoymous Internet commenter, my mother perished due to shock and horror while giving birth to me because she couldn't stand seeing all the priests ejaculating on my minute old face. Secondly, the hilariousness of a band using their Facebook page to slam one another is just too good to pass up. 

Now let's relive the only hit Orgy had with a cover of New Order's Blue Monday:

 
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