On this episode of As the Suck Bands Turn, we left off with two sucktacular bands, Seether and Evanescence. Seether's main man Shaun Morgan was dating Amy Lee of Evanescence way back when they created that song Broken together. However, due to Shaun's dead twin coming back to town and wooing Amy, the original Shaun and Amy broke up.

Enter Troy McLawhorn, a name I swear I did not just make up. He used to be the guitarist of Evanescence until he jumped shipped to join Seether in covering and sounding like a shitty Nirvana rip off. But a year after covering Nirvana all the time, Troy has quit Seether over "personal friction." As a sufferer of personal friction myself, the only solution is more KY, but I digress.

It was reported by Shaun's evil twin that Troy went back to Evanescence, but we found out today that is not the case. Shaun's evil twin had a nefarious plot to impregnate Amy Lee and force the real Shaun to raise the child. Evil Shaun knows the real Shaun's soft spot for helpless babies, hence the relationship with Amy Lee. Amy has since broken up with Evil Shaun and his whereabouts are unknown. I'd check the bottom of a bottle though.