All Band Photos Suck Ass
Band photos are important because a lot of people judge a band by their looks. If they look like pretentious douchebags, they probably are pretentious douchebags. The more I see of these band photos, the more I realize how fucking annoying they are.
I can see it now. Take a rock band, have them dress how they want, then pose them by a brick wall, single color back drop, or on a roofdeck. There are only so many "serious" faces you can do before it all looks so forced. And inevitably, there is a band member always avoiding the camera lens lost in pensive thought or scoping out some babe on the set. Just once I want to see an actual candid band photo of the band just horsing around or being complete jackoffs to one another. It would humanize them.
Here are some solid examples of what I am talking about:
Here is the latest press photo being circulated by the Foo Fighters. Not once has this band ever been serious, yet here they are in their press photo with one guy peering off in the distance while the rest of the band stares longingly at you. Some of you might want Dave Grohl to rape you, I don't. Stop staring at me loser.
Here is the latest press photo from The Dirty Pearls. If you ever catch Tommy standing like that and not moving Mach 1 in the forward direction, you take that picture. He is always moving, always shaking, and never standing still looking at the floor as if contemplating Socrates. And did they forget Mokas? He looks like he accidentally walked into the shot on his way to prank call someone.
This is Panic at the Disco, leave off the ! after Panic. They suck, but look at that finely quaffed Bieber hair and guy liner. Also don't forget those shirts they raided from circus. This shot probably took HOURS to set up, getting the couch just right, the band positioned correctly, and of course making sure they look acceptable. This is the antithesis of rock n' roll photography. But you knew that, since Panic at the Disco suck farts.
TV on the Radio made excellent use of props. Notice the prop white guy in the background. He snuck in the shot and they didn't even know it. I do believe fake Busta Rhymes on the right did walk right from his house onto the shoot. He even has his PJs on. Kudos to that guy, but boo the rest of the band for that shot.
So what would be a good example of a group shot? Well one that captures the band in their element. If they are a rock band, maybe on stage kicking ass. If they are a metal band, slaughtering gypsies along the Silk Route. I like this band shot:
The dude has a fire extinguisher for no perceptible reason. The one guy is legitimately strangling the front guy and Vic Wettner has a wig on and snuck into the left side of the picture. It is a brilliant, candid shot of Sonic Shock as they, in fact, do enjoy stranglebating while spraying fire extinguishers.
Of course, this candid shot of the Wettners at Christmas is also pretty spiffy...speaking of stranglebating.












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