I have a document on my computer that lists all the bands I have promised to review in the order they asked me. It takes me a while to do the reviews because I have a porn addiction. Instead of sitting listening to music, I would rather watch a recently turned 18 year old nymph get reamed out by a giant garden rake.

If you have sent your EP in to us for review and haven't received a review, you became a causality of a long standing graphic war between my computer and the porn industry. The latest death was my master copy of all the EPs and album reviews I owe people.

My apologies to those bands, I never professed at being a professional music reviewer, just a professional porn consumer. Send in your press kit or your EPs again and I will get them up this week (limit first five bands). Except Sonic Shock, I have your album review ready to go and it will be released from the FBI on Thursday.