New Years Resolutions from Your Favorite Bands/Artists
It is the time of year for predictions and resolutions to better your life. Here are our predictions for 2011 for your favorite or least favorite rockstars:
My Chemical Romance - With the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Gerard Way will join the military and serve openly.
Lil Wayne - After his stint in jail, Lil Wayne emerges as a more mature and wiser Wayne for 2011. He also studied a lot of law books in jail and received his GED in Law. His new name Fiduciary Wayne will catch on with the youth in 2011.
Michael Jackson - Neverland Ranch will become home to a Catholic school where little boys in uniforms can run around and be molested just as Michael intended.
Cher - Will die next year. This prediction came from our resident Hooters Connoisseur, Tits Wettner. He says the prediction stems more for his hatred of Cher than actual first hand knowledge. But then again, this website has very little fact steeped in reality.
Canadia - Will deem Chad Kroeger's mansion the Graceland of Canadia. People will flock to it like the Salmon of Capistrano and will become Canadia's best known tourist destination right behind floating Glacier pads, and the United States side of Niagara Falls.
Aretha Franklin - Will die in 2011 of boob strangulation. Her massive yah-bos are migrating closer to her throat and will suffocate her in 2011. Or she will die of pancreatic cancer. Her death will be a tragic event mourned by tens.
Here are some resolutions made by your favorite music artists:
Fergie - I will abstain from drinking anything 48 hours prior to my SuperBowl Halftime performance so I don't piss myself on stage.
Hinder - We will finally get that wage increase from California Pizza Kitchen we are so rightfully owed.
Bono/Edge - PLEASE LET SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK MAKE IT! PLEASE LET SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK MAKE IT!
Mike Portnoy - After rejecting Dream Theater, joining Avenged Sevenfold, leaving Avenged Sevenfold, and begging Dream Theater to take him back, will start a new band. This new band will emerge the dulcimer sounds of Avenged Sevenfold with the soothing comfort of Dream Theater. The new band will be called Mike Portnoy's Avenged Dream Theater.
Ted Nugent - I will begin my big for a US Senate seat on the Tea Party Platform. Anyone who opposes me will need to a spend a week Surviving Nugent.
My Chemical Romance - With the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Gerard Way will join the military and serve openly.
Lil Wayne - After his stint in jail, Lil Wayne emerges as a more mature and wiser Wayne for 2011. He also studied a lot of law books in jail and received his GED in Law. His new name Fiduciary Wayne will catch on with the youth in 2011.
Michael Jackson - Neverland Ranch will become home to a Catholic school where little boys in uniforms can run around and be molested just as Michael intended.
Cher - Will die next year. This prediction came from our resident Hooters Connoisseur, Tits Wettner. He says the prediction stems more for his hatred of Cher than actual first hand knowledge. But then again, this website has very little fact steeped in reality.
Canadia - Will deem Chad Kroeger's mansion the Graceland of Canadia. People will flock to it like the Salmon of Capistrano and will become Canadia's best known tourist destination right behind floating Glacier pads, and the United States side of Niagara Falls.
Aretha Franklin - Will die in 2011 of boob strangulation. Her massive yah-bos are migrating closer to her throat and will suffocate her in 2011. Or she will die of pancreatic cancer. Her death will be a tragic event mourned by tens.
Here are some resolutions made by your favorite music artists:
Fergie - I will abstain from drinking anything 48 hours prior to my SuperBowl Halftime performance so I don't piss myself on stage.
Hinder - We will finally get that wage increase from California Pizza Kitchen we are so rightfully owed.
Bono/Edge - PLEASE LET SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK MAKE IT! PLEASE LET SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK MAKE IT!
Mike Portnoy - After rejecting Dream Theater, joining Avenged Sevenfold, leaving Avenged Sevenfold, and begging Dream Theater to take him back, will start a new band. This new band will emerge the dulcimer sounds of Avenged Sevenfold with the soothing comfort of Dream Theater. The new band will be called Mike Portnoy's Avenged Dream Theater.
Ted Nugent - I will begin my big for a US Senate seat on the Tea Party Platform. Anyone who opposes me will need to a spend a week Surviving Nugent.
Fergie is so nasty
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