The glorious Chuck Berry is 83 bitter years old today. The man practically helped invent Rock N' Roll and had a majority of his riffs ripped off by money grubbing white people. God I hate white people, but that is a separate issue.

That is the story Chuck wants you to know; however we all know he was given the riff by his brother Marvin. The real designer of the riff was Calvin Klein. It was foretold in the prophesy Back to the Future, which is is a classic American autobiography.