Last night at The Grand in Wilmington, DE, the Dirty Pearls opened up for Bret Michaels. If you weren't there, you missed a great show.

A lot of people ask me, "Craig, how can I be as successful as you in picking up cougars." I tell them, "Just like real estate, it is all about location, location, location and the mindset of the greatest American hunter - Teddy Roosevelt."

The location to pick up smoking hot, incredibly horny, and saucy cougars is at a Bret Michaels show. They are all decked out in their finest trying to get a piece of the Bret Michaels' lizard. Lucky for you, he can't sleep with 300, though he will try. That leaves at least one for you and two if you think your asthma will hold off until you climax. But I wouldn't push the luck too far on the first go around.

The greatness with Bret is he brings his A-game every performance. There are a lot of nostalgia act out there that just phone in the performance and cash the check...Vince Neil I am looking at your bloated face. Despite his health problems, Bret looked in great spirits, health, and by god is he charismatic.

I am not the biggest fan of Poison, but I respect the fun party anthems they have created. It is just fun to hear Unskinny Bop, Talk Dirty to Me, and Fallen Angel in a live setting with a rippingly loud guitar. The songs transport you back to a time when women were women and men were women.

I was worried that I would miss Poison's regular band members, CC Deville importantly. About halfway through the opening song (Talk Dirty to Me) I realized, Bret Michaels is just as good. The show is mostly about the music and anyone can play those Deville solos.

Bret did two cover songs, Sweet Home Alabama and What I Got in his hour and fifteen set. The Sweet Home Alabama cover was a stripped down version of the original. By stripped down I mean it didn't have seven to eight fucking musicians on stage playing backup. It was a great cover and Bret was really into it. The way Bret played Sweet Home Alabama showed this song had some meaning to him.

The other cover, Sublime's What I Got was less enthusiastic. I don't like Sublime at all, I do not understand their appeal and I am glad that reggae rock bullshit died. Bret did a more rock based version, but it still couldn't save that song in my ears.

The sound system in The Grand was great, as it should be it is an opera house. The Grand is a great little place in Delaware that should be used more often for rock concerts.I don't recommend going to anyplace in Delaware, however, if you had to see a concert in Delaware The Grand is the best place.

I don't know how many The Grand holds (I would guess around 2,000) and the place wasn't packed at all. There were a were people up in the balcony, but if they were moved to the orchestra level, the orchestra still wouldn't be filled. The good news is Bret doesn't care about playing to five people to 10,000, he is going to give the same high energy performance every time. The less people that are there the better because as a fan, you get a better, more intimate show.

My only complaint about the show was they have Bret's microphone turned up louder than the rest of the band, which is fine and should be expected since it is the Bret Michaels show. This became a problem when he decided to play the harmonica into that microphone before Your Momma Don't Dance. My ears have been blasted with years of rock n' roll and that cut into my calloused ears.

My review of Bret Michaels won't steer you away from his show if you had already planned on going. But if you are Teddy Roosevelt and think you have enough bullets in the musket to nab the cougars, then this is a show for you. Let Bret Michaels do the work in lulling the big cats to sleep and then you can sneak up on them and douse them in water and see if you can snare one for the evening.

As I have stated before on this site, I am no photographer and if I don't forget the camera then the batteries or dead or like this time, I forgot the SD memory card. Shame too because I had an awesome vantage point. If you have pictures of the show and want to send them in, we will put them on the site, pimp your name or whatever you want pimped, and you can be famous in Pakistan!

Setlist:

Talk Dirty to Me
Look What the Cat Dragged In
Sweet Home Alabama (cover of Lynyrd Skynyrd)
Go That Far (Rock of Love theme)
Something to Believe In
Unskinny Bop
Your Momma Don't Dance
Gratuitous and unnecessary Drum solo
What I Got (Sublime cover)
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Fallen Angel

Encore
Nothin' But a Good Time

Review of the Pearls coming soon.