My Saturday morning started like any other Saturday morning, I was looking for free porn on the internet. I found this website called Las Vegas Party Club, which apparently offer free streaming sex shows at all of Las Vegas' hottest parties. I have a few minutes to kill at 3am, so I decided to check it out.

I was in luck, Las Vegas Party Club hosted a Battle of the Bands. Virtually, I attended this Wentz filled popped collar party hosted by a guy in green hair and a red feather boa. I could smell the AXE body spray through the computer. He was talking outside on this faux red carpet to guys with chin straps and who obviously bought the club out of their Red Bull supply.

Every half hour there was a new band on stage, but some of the bands really didn't fit in this New Jersey/New York club scene. There were pop punk bands from LA, fake Dropkick Murphys, and Stagnetti's Cock. Certainly, the most original band on the bill, opting to give out free porno than play their music competently. I totally appreciate the porn effort as I never would have found this website had it not been for my insipid need for porno.

The crowd really didn't know what to think of the Cock. There were audible screams of "You Suck" and the familiar sound of Boos reigning on these two men who clearly came from the Nevada dessert. Dressed in cowboy shirts, Chuck Taylors, sunglasses, and pointy guitars, the two man act ripped through original songs like Titties and Beer, Beer, Sex, and Satan, Talk Dirty To Me, and a rousing rendition of Sex Slaves classic Thank God for Jack Daniels.

There was a dicey moment when a fellow party goer and known Wentz-aholic, rushed the stage and hiccuped into the mic "These guys suck." The seemingly quick witted Howlin' Joe Del Verga grabbed the microphone and tossed out a proverbial "Your Mom" joke, which was perfectly timed and put the man in his place. As the guy attempted to grab the mic back from Howlin' Joe, the ninja skills Joe employed would make Hattori Hanzo jealous - snatching the mic back and slapping the man's hands in one fell swoop. Amazing.

It was 3AM here and I couldn't put up with anymore Las Vegas Party Club so I never found out if Stagnetti's Cock won the Battle of the Bands. If they did not, they were robbed and I demand a recount. If you are in Las Vegas or LA, I recommend checking out Cock. Then after going down on it, find Stagnetti's Cock they have a few tour dates.