Watch out the Carnival is coming to town. That carnival will make my brother Lars Wettner PISS HIS PANTS. Ready Lars?

The tour will feature Shinedown. I know the blood has begun to enter your flaccid penis. Chevelle.... whoa buddy, put the dick ring on it to keep it up. And the final band....Sevendust....clean up your pants before your fiancee gets home.

Shinedown, Sevendust, and Chevelle will be crossing the States with their Carnival of Madness tour.

Jul. 16 - Jacksonville, FL - Jacksonville Arena
Jul. 17 - Simpsonville, SC - Heritage Park
Jul. 18 - Huntsville, AL - Von Braun Amphitheatre
Jul. 21 - Estero, FL - Germain Arena
Jul. 23 - Knoxville, TN - Civic Coliseum
Jul. 24 - Charlotte, NC - Verizon Amphitheatre
Jul. 25 - Raleigh, NC - Raleigh Boutique Amphitheatre
Jul. 26 - Virginia Beach, VA - Virginia Beach Amphitheatre
Jul. 28 - Columbia, MD - Merriweather Pavillion
Jul. 30 - Philadelphia, PA - Penn’s Landing
Aug. 01 - Boston, MA - Comcast Amphitheatre
Aug. 04 - Uncasville, CT - Mohegan Sun Arena
Aug. 05 - Holmdel, NJ PNC - Amphitheatre
Aug. 06 - Canadaguiga, NY - CBMS Performing Arts Center
Aug. 07 - Detroit, MI - DTE Amphitheatre
Aug. 09 - Cleveland, OH - Time Warner Amphitheatre
Aug. 10 - Pikeville, KY - Eastern Kentucky Expo
Aug. 11 - Chicago, IL - Charter One Pavillion
Aug. 18 - Lafayette, LA - Cajun Dome
Aug. 22 - Dallas, TX - Nokia Theater
Aug. 24 - Casper, WY - Casper Event Center
Aug. 25 - Billings, MT - Metropark Center

My feelings on Sevendust are evident and posted all over this site. I don't like them. Chevelle is a bag of MEH and Shinedown's album "The Sound of Madness" wasn't bad, but their back catalog is kind of forgettable.

But I know how popular these bands are and how much of an ardent supporter Lars is of these bands. In fact, I told him about the bands down the beach this weekend. Look at the reaction I got: