There are things people are good at and they should stick to them. For instance, I am a completely useless human being so I should stick to commenting about music on my couch naked while watching The Golden Girls.

But if you are Jenna Jameson, the only thing you are good at is fucking big black guys and stretching your hole as wide as you can. So wide that natural child birth is a minor inconvenience. If you are Jenna Jameson, you should NOT record an album.

The former pornstar, and the object of the Kitten holocaust I carried out in the 90s, is ready to record an album. Jameson had this to say about her album,

"I got involved with singing early on while living in (Las) Vegas. I was a member of a play company that required everyone to sing and dance. I always loved dancing, and was classically trained, but singing was something I really never pursued. Now that I am finally pursuing it, I am extremely excited, and a little nervous. I do my best work when I'm nervous."

Have you ever seen porn bloopers? They are pretty funny, but my favorite is when some girl is doing double penetration and the ass guy pulls out and she shits just a bit on the guy under her. It is a beautifully tragic event. That is what this is album is going to be.

I can only imagine a horrendously auto-tuned steaming pile invading my ears. I think it's going to be tough for her not to swallow the mic. You know, because old habits never die.