Thanks to God cumming fifteen inches all over my house, I was forced to stay inside and attempt to suck myself off using advance Yoga techniques. While I was attempting this record feat, I had an infomercial on in the background. I enjoy the musical infomercials pandering music of a bygone era. This one was "Pop Hits of the 60's," or some equally trite shit.

With my legs over my head, I was able to make out Mickey Dolenz, (The Monkees) and some twit from Time Life. Time Life personally selected this seven CD box set of 60's pop hits from your favorite bands like the Mamas and the Papas, The Monkees, and The Archies.

I love these infomercials because they help bolster my music knowledge. "Who sang that Sugar, Sugar song?" "That would be the Archies, stick your tongue deeper in my ass."

Most of these infomercials are geared toward older folks attempting to remember a time when they were young, innocent, idealistic, whatever. They want you to buy the full volume so you can think about your first love, your first car, your first rusty trombone. There is a Doo Wop volume, a Motown volume, a 60's/70's Pop volume, but what will my volume be?

In 25 years, when I am sitting on my couch watching late night infomercials because I can't sleep due to an enlarged prostate, what will these volumes look like? Will they include Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus? Who will the celebrity be helping Time Life pull all of these "great" songs together? Any of the ones I mentioned? Maybe we will have the ability to reanimate corpses and Kurt Cobain could host it.

I didn't really give this any more thought other than to see what you may think? What will be the Time Life volume defining Generation X or Y?

I think Generation Y will have the following:

Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy
N*Sync - Bye Bye Bye
Brittney Spears - Hit Me Baby One More Time
Collective Soul - Shine
Blues Traveler - Run-Around
Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffany's
Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life
Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way
The Devinyls - I Touch Myself
Haddaway - What Is Love
Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be
Big Mountain - Baby I Love Your Way
Dog's Eye View - Everything Falls Apart
Spacehog - In the Meantime
Joan Osbourne - One of Us

These are just the one hit wonders that hit the top of my head. What a sad fucking volume that will be. I won't be waxing nostaglic about that Time Life volume.