If you are not following Zakk Wylde on Twitter you are missing out on all sorts of great entertainment. For instance

"On the brighter side… they shaved off four inches from my love cannon, so Barbaranne won't be in such excruciating pain as I hammer and plough my love into her Thor-style! Aside of that, all is peachy keen!"

Now, that is a lot of penis removed. The average American male is between 4-6." That would leave Zakk Wylde with only 2" of penis. But he is a Viking and thus not an American Male.

Smarter men than I, have done studies showing that Vikings are kick ass and thus larger in the penis category than pussy American males. So Zakk was probably measuring in closer to 24" inches of penis. No woman can take that, even wives of Nordic Vikings. The shaving of his penis down to 20" is probably good. Now he can fit into latex longboats and slip into the Baltic sea more comfortably.