Transformers 2 Movie Review
Yes,
this is a music website, but we just hosted a Transformers 2: IMAX
viewing party. I need to review the movie because something happened
that tainted it.
The critics have been hating on Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen for weeks now. They hate the character development, the annoying acting, and the piss-poor dialog. But the fact remains, this movie nor the franchise was ever about character development, acting, or dialog. It was always about giant fucking robots blowing each other up and the puny humans caught in the middle.
So those dumbasses going to see Transformers 2 looking for dialog or plot beyond giant fucking robots blowing each other up, should have stayed home or went to see a pussy movie. I would have enjoyed the extra room.
The movie starts out in medias res (or in the middle of the action). The Autobots have been fighting alongside humans to snuff out the remaining Decepitcons, who cares because it was entirely too long between the opening credits and the robots blowing each other up.
The CGI looks amazing and that's all I care about in a movie this big. Do the robots look real? Yes. Are they bad ass? Hell yes. Was that sex joke about Sam getting his cherry popped groan inducing? I don't know, I missed it because I was staring at Megan Fox's ass and waiting for the revival of Megatron (Galvatron).
But here is where the movie breaks down, for me. There is a party scene where all the freshmen go to a frat house rave (you remember your first day college rave, right?). Anyway, the big bad Decepitcon, who can apparent mimic human skin and body temperature flawlessly, comes into the room. She is hunting Sam, for no apparent reason because Soundwave doesn't learn about Sam's map to the Energon source until AFTER this scene. So why is the flesh mimicking Decepticon hunting Sam? Who cares, they are playing Nickelback!
That's right, this bas ass movie containing giant robots raping each other and destroying cities, has a Nickelback song in it. I don't know which one it is, but it is one of their "harder rocking" ones. It was playing in the background for at least two LONG minutes. It was long enough for me to puncture my ear canal with a Jujube.
Sadly, I couldn't hear the rest of the movie, but you don't need your hearing anyway. It is all visual, including even bigger robot testicles. The movie is saved by Jon Turturro, who ruined the first movie for me.
I recommend seeing this movie, but only if you are a fan of shit blowing up and giant robots killing each other. If you are looking for a dick cutting, sob fest, My Sister's Keeper is playing. SPOILERS: Abigail Breslin's character gets into a car accident shortly after being emancipated from her parents. She is brain dead and can't give her organs to her sister. Now, go sob, you pussy.
The critics have been hating on Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen for weeks now. They hate the character development, the annoying acting, and the piss-poor dialog. But the fact remains, this movie nor the franchise was ever about character development, acting, or dialog. It was always about giant fucking robots blowing each other up and the puny humans caught in the middle.
So those dumbasses going to see Transformers 2 looking for dialog or plot beyond giant fucking robots blowing each other up, should have stayed home or went to see a pussy movie. I would have enjoyed the extra room.
The movie starts out in medias res (or in the middle of the action). The Autobots have been fighting alongside humans to snuff out the remaining Decepitcons, who cares because it was entirely too long between the opening credits and the robots blowing each other up.
The CGI looks amazing and that's all I care about in a movie this big. Do the robots look real? Yes. Are they bad ass? Hell yes. Was that sex joke about Sam getting his cherry popped groan inducing? I don't know, I missed it because I was staring at Megan Fox's ass and waiting for the revival of Megatron (Galvatron).
But here is where the movie breaks down, for me. There is a party scene where all the freshmen go to a frat house rave (you remember your first day college rave, right?). Anyway, the big bad Decepitcon, who can apparent mimic human skin and body temperature flawlessly, comes into the room. She is hunting Sam, for no apparent reason because Soundwave doesn't learn about Sam's map to the Energon source until AFTER this scene. So why is the flesh mimicking Decepticon hunting Sam? Who cares, they are playing Nickelback!
That's right, this bas ass movie containing giant robots raping each other and destroying cities, has a Nickelback song in it. I don't know which one it is, but it is one of their "harder rocking" ones. It was playing in the background for at least two LONG minutes. It was long enough for me to puncture my ear canal with a Jujube.
Sadly, I couldn't hear the rest of the movie, but you don't need your hearing anyway. It is all visual, including even bigger robot testicles. The movie is saved by Jon Turturro, who ruined the first movie for me.
I recommend seeing this movie, but only if you are a fan of shit blowing up and giant robots killing each other. If you are looking for a dick cutting, sob fest, My Sister's Keeper is playing. SPOILERS: Abigail Breslin's character gets into a car accident shortly after being emancipated from her parents. She is brain dead and can't give her organs to her sister. Now, go sob, you pussy.
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