The Rock n Roll industry is having a tough time with illegal file sharing and squeaky clean frontman from American Idol running amok. The mainstream rock fan is sadly, and indirectly ingesting some of worst slop produced since, the 80's? My hyperbole is off, so fuck you.

Anyway, we here at Blogs N' Roses have figured out how rock n roll can save itself from the outside pressures. The answer is actually fairly simple and isn't drug related. Moustaches. Yes, it could be as simple as growing a moustache. Here is my research.

Early rock pioneers threw caution to the wind and created a new, dangerous sound that accompanied a "Fuck you" attitude. Take a look at rock pioneer Little Richard. His creepy moustache would give even the hardcore pedophiles chills, but the man could kick ass on the piano.



As rock grew up and infused more blues, we had more artists trying to step away from the early rock mold set forth by the pioneers. Enter Chuck Berry. To most, he is the Godfather of rock n roll. He too had a moustache that was ever bit as creepy as Little Richard.



Chuck had the swagger, Richard had the talent, but one man was able to take both and add a bitching moustache to redefine rock guitar. That man was Jimi Hendrix. A woman once described Hendrix' moustache this way: "His moustache smelled of blood, sweat, tears, hard work, and fish. I thought he was always eating fish until I found out what my pussy smelled like." (paraphrased)



The 60's came and a small band called The Beatles basically redefined music as we know it. But they didn't have the kick ass attitude and dirty look for most hardcore rock fans. We needed an edge and a break from the squeaky clean Beatles. Enter Black Sabbath. If you look closely most of them were supporting moustaches of the highest caliber. They needed these moustaches to create everlasting rock music and to summon the fucking Devil.



Black Sabbath redefined hard rock and scared the shit out of everyone. But that was nothing compared to what was going to come in the 80's. Metallica entered the music scene with a take no prisoners, alcohol fueled, brutality not seen before. They played as fast as they could and James Hetfield constantly used his 80's moustache as a beer sifter.



Even God has a bitching moustache.



Now we are left with a crisis. Early rock pioneers, musical geniuses, and rock icons all had bitching moustaches at one point or another. But in the 90's men were to have this new "metrosexual" look. They were clean shaven, castrated, and whining douchebags. (Guns N' Roses withstanding). We need a return to moustaches for the good of rock n roll.

Some people have figured out that the moustache is the key to rock greatness. Check out the men who have studied the past and learned from it.



(Left to right: Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters) Jesse Hughes (Eagles of Death Metal) Killcode)

These men get it. They realize the power of the 'stache and their music reflects that. Start your rock bands, but remember grow your moustaches like the rock greats. It is the only way to save Rock n' Roll.