This is the final segment of five with Rich Mullins of the Year Long Disaster. The interview is now done and here are parts one, two, three, and four just to get you caught up on this awfully long and disjointed interview.

Rich:     I have to tell a quick story he [Matt Maiellaro, creator of Aqua Teen Hunger Force] told me about [Glenn] Danzig. Have you seen the Danzig episode?

BnR:     Absolutely, where his walls bleed.

Rich:     Yea. So they drew Danzig and they had to show him what he would look like. They sent Danzig the drawing and he said that he was taller than that.

BnR:     Taller than what? 5'2?

Rich:     That is what they said, "How does he know?" All they did was sent him a picture. It was just him standing there.

BnR:     We use this picture we found Photoshopped on the internet. It is a picture of Tony Danza's on Danzig's body.

Rich:     I have that too. It has the Danza in the Danzig writing. It's great.

BnR:     It is awesome and you can't tell the difference between the two.

Rich:     It is great. I love the Shakira YouTube thing.

BnR:     I wish I could sing like Danzig because then I would go to church and I would do all the hymns in Danzig sounds. Just hoping that the church walls would bleed.

Rich:     That is an incredible idea. You should go dressed as Danzig as well.

BnR:     I don't think I could find a cattle head around here.

Rich:     Really try, but if you can't I suggest a couple twigs and your neighbor's dog skull.

BnR:     I will shoot high and when that inevitably fails, I will just start going lower and lower.

Rich:     My band wants to play bigger and bigger venues to less and less people until we implode [laughs]

BnR:     You could be playing Madison Square Garden to like 18 people.

Rich:     It would be like a black hole or a dwarf star imploding on itself.

BnR:     So you are going to go the route of Winger?

Rich:     I had to leave the side of the stage of Winger because I was laughing.

BnR:     Right up there with Ratt, but I like Ratt.

Rich:     I really like three Ratt songs. I think Lay It Down is fucking awesome. It is tuned down to D and it is ferocious. By the way, the drummer for Ratt is a dog groomer in Santa Monica. If anybody wants to get their dog groomed by the drummer from Ratt, it is possible.

BnR:     Can you talk to him about how ugly Stephen Pearcy is?

Rich:     He is really crazy looking. What has he done to his face? He [the drummer from Ratt] does a really good job because my friend's dog looks awesome.

BnR:     I sort of imagine him being Harry Dunn from Dumb and Dumber.

Rich:     I heard [he wears] acid washed jean shorts, white wife beater, and still curly long hair.

BnR:     Where is it? Santa Monica?

Rich:     Yes, it is in Santa Monica. If you need the number, call me. It is one text message away.

BnR:     I have a dog, but it is a short hair. Maybe I can borrow someone else's poodle. So if I am ever in Santa Monica with someone else's poodle, I will look him up. That is, of course, assuming it survives long enough after my Danzig impersonation at church.

Rich:     I suggest bleaching that skull too. It really brings out the light because when it is on your belt buckle it would give off the right effect. You are going to want to bleach it.

BnR:     Would that clash with my acid washed jeans?

Rich:     Steal some of the bleach. It is genius. BLEACH: What can't it cure?

BnR:     It has had trouble curing AIDS.

Rich:     Yea, and it can't bring Michael Jackson's nose back. Do you think he prays to "please take me back in time to where I made the decision or when my nose completely fell off"?

BnR:     I don't know, but his music in 1984...the Thriller album, is absolutely fantastic.

Rich:     Yup, timeless.

BnR:     The Black and White stuff in 1992 with Magic Johnson dancing around dressed as an Egyptian, terrible. The one where he was doing the global warming before it was cool.

Rich:     Yes at that time I think he was just consumed by butthole. Every fiber in his body was butthole. He probably drew buttholes everywhere he went. Naturally, I am sure the music reflected it.

BnR:     I want to go back and listen for it.

Rich:     I am sure there are a number of butthole references.

BnR:     I can just see him on his own private plane flying across the continent drawing buttholes on the little napkins. Drinking a small coke or his "Jesus Juice" or whatever he called it.

Rich:     I wonder if he would eat different foods to see if it would change the consistency of his own butthole. "My butthole is much softer after I eat oatmeal." Guys can be like "I like small breasts, large breasts." Do you think he is like "I like really firm buttholes" or really loose.

BnR:     I would have to say smell as well.

Rich:     Protruding buttholes. "What do you look for in a sphincter, Michael?"

BnR:     If we ever get an interview with him, which I am sure we never will, that will be a question we can ask him.

Thank you Rich for sitting down and talking with us for 50 full minutes of the most colorful interview we have ever had. We have learned much about you and you have us. Check out the Year Long Disaster's website for updated tour information and clips of their songs. Final audio segment is below: