There is less than a week until Chinese Democracy may actually hit store shelves and Blogs N' Roses intends to milk this cow for every tasteless and predictable joke it's worth. 

"Better" isn't as hard rockin' as "Chinese Democracy" since it sounds like Axl wrote the song for Britney Spears in 1999. Yep, it's a dance song with Buckethead supplying a few gratuitous solos and a hoarse Axl Rose croaking through Britney's parts.  

LISTEN HERE!

I didn't think I had the right song until Axl opened his big mouth. If you're putting this on your iPod playlist next to a Hinder song so you can blast it in your Mitsubishi Eclipse convertible then you are A.) a South Jersey hose beast with a fake tan or B.) a meat head with a fake tan driving around with a South Jersey hose beast. "Better" makes me want to dance but I still I prefer Britney Spears' "Womanizer" or at least something from Nelly Furtado if I'm gonna get footloose.

The Rolling Stone review of this song also provided much humor since we love mocking Rolling Stone as much as Chinese Democracy.

READ HERE!

I can tell the Jewish Prince Valiant, David Fricke, didn't write this review because it doesn't reak of cigarette smoke and self-serving fellatio. Anyway, it proves the morons at Rolling Stone can't write anything without referencing the Jonas brothers and acting like 1991 was part of the Paleolithic Age. I guess '91 feels like a lifetime ago to their under-age, under-qualified Frances Bean Cobain interns who are tasked with penning such swill when they're not picking the cigarette butts out of Fricke's flowing mane of rat hair.

The reader comments are the best part of the review. Half of the readers hated "Better" while the other half seem to think it's the best rock song they've heard in the last decade. In an unrelated survey, half of all "Rock" fans polled have only listened to Nickelback in the last decade, which may explain this undeserved love. That and inbreeding...and Fricke's rat hair.