Last night Blogs N Roses hosted another Party Like a Rockstar experience. The last one played out like Sixteen Candles (read the review here). I decided not to drink and instead chauffeur everyone around so the other members of Blogs N' Roses could enjoy my rental car and themselves.

The infamous Party Like A Rockstar evenings are generally designed to hang out with real life rockstars. This evening was no exception. We were hanging out with the local, upstart band, STASH. STASH is an experimental, rock/metal fusion band. The band is so upstart they don't even have a website yet.

STASH incorporates their love of illegal drugs into the names of their songs and their on-stage personas. With songs like "Do this Line," which has lyrics similar to Jimi Hendrix "Purple Haze" (Excuse me, while I do this line) and "That Syringe," which has a Lynyrd Skynyrd "That Smell" sound.

Lead singer and main song writer, El Burro de la druga, wears a mexican sombrero and an Oaxacan dress while prancing around stage growling his way through drug anthem after drug anthem. Торговец наркотикам, or Topro for short, is the accordion and tin whistle player, who dresses like a KGB agent on meth. His teeth resemble a meth user after 10 years of abusing. Poppy Seed Jump, performs with a nice belt on his arm and a spoon in his ear like a pencil, is the bassist. PSJ employs the pop/slap method of bass playing. Bud Glaucoma, is the lead guitarist and dresses like a heroin addicted Bob Marley. The final member of the STASH is the drummer, Demerol Methadone, who performs only in a hospital gown. Demerol represents the road to recovery that every addict must go through and the crucifix on stage represents the God they must find to succeed.

The evening started out with Bob and Vic Wettner, drinking three Blueberry Ales which has 9.0% alcohol by volume. By 8:00 PM they were feeling pretty good and we decided to pick up Uncle Rex Wettner. He was celebrating his birthday with the Wettner's extended family, the Gottwettner's. However, Uncle Rex decided to skip STASH and instead check into the Bates Motel. We picked up Lars Wettner and his cousin. We arrived at the bar and STASH was already blistering through the guitar solo for Bong a Gong, a T Rex inspired song with a Dragonforce guitar solo. Vic Wettner decided to grab a vodka tonic while everyone else drank Miller.

STASH ripped through their set, playing crowd favorite after crowd favorite; concluding their set, as they always do, with The Tubes classic "White Punks on Dope." After their set, we decided to go backstage and talk to them. As we entered the backstage area, there was a coffee table with the shape of Delaware on it. Each member was quickly inhaling their way through the state and discussing whether Obama was really sent from Venus to save the United States from the tyranny and oppression of the GOP. As soon as Vic Wettner heard this conversation, he knew he had to drink a lot more...he purchased four Heinekens and slammed them.

The night concluded when Vic Wettner's ex-girlfriend Jordan J. Jordan appeared like Grendel's Mother. Bob and I knew we had to get Vic out of there or he was going to sacrifice our Herot, in order to sleep with Grendel's Mother once more. We couldn't let him. We threw him in the back seat of the rental Toyota and sped away before Jordan J. Jordan could sprout wings and fly after us.

I guess the combination of the speed and alcohol caused him to do this to the car:



Another Party Like a Rockstar evening where one member of Blogs N Roses can't handle the speed and alcohol. Thank god we are journalists and not rockstars or we would look like this all the time: