When we last left our heroes, Velvet Revolver, their previous lead singer, Scott Weiland, was lured back to his previous camp. This left our protagonists sans a lead singer. Our Odysseus' set upon a tragic journey to find a lead singer. We pick the story up about two weeks ago. I will recite the story in free verse iambic pentameter.

Royston Langdon rumored lead singer weeks ago
Now false, brand new rumor Lenny Kravitz
Lenny says now he's just buddies with VR
"I know and love the VR guys but there is
no truth to the story about me joining
their band." Story started by the Sun news
Because Lenny was seen inside practice
studio with Velvet Revolver

The Sun was quoted as this:

"Velvet Revolver's new album will draw heavily on their messy split with [former singer] Scott [Weiland]. The band wanted a big name who could easily hold his own and reckon Lenny is just the man for the job."

This is ridiculous. I don't think Lenny can share the stage with Slash. Sure they are great friends, read Slash's autobiography, but to be in a band together? There isn't enough time in the song for each to solo two times each and hog the middle of the stage. Plus I think the two of them merging together would create a full black jew. That hasn't been seen since Sammy Davis Jr. converted to Judaism in 1954 after his infamous car accident on Highway 66.