Lou Pearlman: The Oz Chronicles
One-third of America loves Lou Pearlman or loves the bands he created (N*SYNC, Backstreet Boys, etc). Two-thirds of America hates Lou Pearlman with such passion they would enjoy seeing him on an episode of Oz where he drops the soap. Well two-thirds of this country might get to hear about it.
Lou was recently sentenced to 25 years in a Federal prison for defrauding banks and investors of $300 million dollars. Lou is a cushy man. See the mugshot below:
Pearlman has the proper prison humping body. You don't have a lot of time to anally rape a man in the showers, so you have to be quick. You need a lot of cushion so as not to bruise yourself while vigorously humping. You require fleshy, big-boned ass cheeks. As you can imagine from the mugshot, Lou has great fleshy ass cheeks.
You will also need something to latch onto when pulling yourvictim rape shower square dance partner back into your bulging rod. A billowy midsection should do the trick, which is another plus for Lou. These reasons alone make Lou a prime candidate for penetration of his tight-as-a-drumhead, brown eye.
Two strikes for him, but remember there are rules in prison. Just because your body makes you a candidate for rape, doesn't mean you will become a rape victim. No, that fate lies solely on your crimes outside of prison. If you molest a child, well that's a raping. If you kill a lawyer in broad daylight, you saved yourself a raping. So let's tally Mr. Pearlman's crimes.
Defrauding banks: well they are a bank and have insurance and enough money to cover the loss. Lou is safe.
Defrauding Investors: who cares? They wear stuffy suits and buy and sell stocks. Lou is safe.
Created boy bands: Uh oh strike one.
Allegedly engaged in sexual activity with the boys: Oh no! Strike two.
Jail house snitch: Oh Lou, I wouldn't want to be your sphincter tonight.
That is right, according to NME.com, Pearlman has provided information obtained in the big house that involved a police shooting. Pearlman kept notes of conversations he had with Davin Smith as well as notes he made when eavesdropping on Smith's interactions with other prisoners.
Fletcher Peacock, Pearlman's attorney...no BnR did not make that guy's name up, had this to say about Mr. Pearlman's snitching.
"He's just trying to do what he can to help authorities” he said "Quite frankly, Mr. Pearlman would have come forward with it whether he had a case pending or not. It's just his obligation as a citizen."
I bet he would have. Mr. Peacock said he would ask a judge to consider Pearlman's cooperation in future requests so his sentence would be lowered. I am guessing this is the real reason Mr. Pearlman is hoovering up information related to any unsolved crimes. Now, what do people in jail do to those who snitch?
Lou was recently sentenced to 25 years in a Federal prison for defrauding banks and investors of $300 million dollars. Lou is a cushy man. See the mugshot below:
Pearlman has the proper prison humping body. You don't have a lot of time to anally rape a man in the showers, so you have to be quick. You need a lot of cushion so as not to bruise yourself while vigorously humping. You require fleshy, big-boned ass cheeks. As you can imagine from the mugshot, Lou has great fleshy ass cheeks.
You will also need something to latch onto when pulling your
Two strikes for him, but remember there are rules in prison. Just because your body makes you a candidate for rape, doesn't mean you will become a rape victim. No, that fate lies solely on your crimes outside of prison. If you molest a child, well that's a raping. If you kill a lawyer in broad daylight, you saved yourself a raping. So let's tally Mr. Pearlman's crimes.
Defrauding banks: well they are a bank and have insurance and enough money to cover the loss. Lou is safe.
Defrauding Investors: who cares? They wear stuffy suits and buy and sell stocks. Lou is safe.
Created boy bands: Uh oh strike one.
Allegedly engaged in sexual activity with the boys: Oh no! Strike two.
Jail house snitch: Oh Lou, I wouldn't want to be your sphincter tonight.
That is right, according to NME.com, Pearlman has provided information obtained in the big house that involved a police shooting. Pearlman kept notes of conversations he had with Davin Smith as well as notes he made when eavesdropping on Smith's interactions with other prisoners.
Fletcher Peacock, Pearlman's attorney...no BnR did not make that guy's name up, had this to say about Mr. Pearlman's snitching.
"He's just trying to do what he can to help authorities” he said "Quite frankly, Mr. Pearlman would have come forward with it whether he had a case pending or not. It's just his obligation as a citizen."
I bet he would have. Mr. Peacock said he would ask a judge to consider Pearlman's cooperation in future requests so his sentence would be lowered. I am guessing this is the real reason Mr. Pearlman is hoovering up information related to any unsolved crimes. Now, what do people in jail do to those who snitch?
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