This summer Frances Bean Cobain keeps busy with her hard-earned Rolling Stone Magazine internship. Reports of Frances Bean’s performance have reached the press and apparently, Cobain has earned a reputation of a being lazy intern. She refuses to fetch coffee for her superiors and constantly calls in sick. I guess that's what Rolling Stone gets for hiring a fifteen year old, over-privileged, under-qualified nobody on the basis of her name. And it's nice to know that a qualified would-be intern was cheated out of this prestigious position because Rolling Stone Magazine fears the wrath of Courney Love. That's what the French call "journalistic integrity." Bravo Jann Wenner!

Once a prestigious assignment, the Rolling Stone internship has now become a pathetic sham. Blogs N' Roses applied for the fall term of 2008 (look here fool!) and Bob and I are still giddy with school girl excitement to get our official rejections. Now if the standards are this low, do you think the BnR team will have a chance? Umm…not really, but at least Rolling Stone should attempt to save face by shit-canning Cobain, Jr . We have credentials that Frances Bean could only dream of; High school diplomas, college degrees, actual experience, an El Camino autographed by Judas Priest and driver's licenses so we can cruise for chicks in said El Camino. One more thing, Frances Bean can't Photoshop heads on different bodies with such aplomb either. BnR would be shoe-ins if only they feared our mother, too.

Now for my favorite part; I can call them out by name because we are not a corporate pansy magazine and in the immortal words of an anonymous musician, "corporate magazines still suck." That's right, Erica Futterman, Internship Coordinator; it must be frustrating taking orders from a broke-down, drug addict, star-fucker, wannabe talented cosmetically enhanced succubus like Courtney Love. You're gonna hire Frances Bean Cobain over Blogs N' Roses? At least we're old enough to buy Jann Wenner hookers in Reno. "Smells Like Teen Nepotism."

Here's our mama, and she's mean as hell. And mama ain't gonna be to happy when you give our internships to Frances Bean's pet poodle's this fall.