Bn'R Conspiracy Theory - The True Origins of Accept
If you are a regular reader of Bn'R, you have probably read one or two of our seemingly outlandish conspiracy theories that probably make no sense to anybody who hasn't had a lobotomy. Nonetheless, we report as we see fit, and there is something that I just can't ignore anymore.
Udo Dirkschneider is the founding (and German) member of the 70's and 80's metal band Accept. While I wouldn't classify them as one hit wonders, their most popular song is by far "Balls to the Wall". While listening to it recently, I noticed a very familiar combination of voices and inflections that may be too similar to be a coincidence. Before continuing, I must insist that you watch the video so that you aren't influenced by my theory right away. Go ahead, enjoy.....
Alright, by now there is no way that you have missed it. Udo Dirkschneider is clearly the illegitimate love child of Lemmy Kilmister of Motörhead and the late great Bon Scott of AC/DC. After digging for the truth in an epic worthy of a Spielberg produced Indiana Jones movie, we have uncovered the truth. It turns out that Udo Dirkschneider was actually born Belford Fraser von Motörhead on April 6th, 1952. He was spawned out of a facial mole that fell off of a six year old Lemmy's face while on a trip to Germany with his grandfather. Where does Bon Scott come in you ask? I was just getting to that....
It seems that a 5 year old Bon Scott was also vacationing in Germany at the time and you accidentally bumped into Lemmy while eating a sausage. Somehow this bump would lead into a debate over the proper use of contraception. Bon held to the belief that the best way to prevent an accident from happening would be to drink yourself sterile, while Lemmy contended that anal sex was the way to go. One thing led to another and an epic fist fight broke out. One of Lemmy's moles fell to the ground and was mixed with the blood (DNA) of Bon Scott.
Do you need more proof. (Not) Exactly 31 years later, the classic "Balls to the Wall" was released in the US and was Accept's most popular album to date. If that isn't proof enough for you please check out the following picture. It was not easy to come by this picture and I must confess that I had to kill for it. It does, however, provide rock solid proof that Lemmy and Bon fathered Udo. This is the only known family picture ever taken, deep in the depths of the Stockholm caverns.
Udo Dirkschneider is the founding (and German) member of the 70's and 80's metal band Accept. While I wouldn't classify them as one hit wonders, their most popular song is by far "Balls to the Wall". While listening to it recently, I noticed a very familiar combination of voices and inflections that may be too similar to be a coincidence. Before continuing, I must insist that you watch the video so that you aren't influenced by my theory right away. Go ahead, enjoy.....
Alright, by now there is no way that you have missed it. Udo Dirkschneider is clearly the illegitimate love child of Lemmy Kilmister of Motörhead and the late great Bon Scott of AC/DC. After digging for the truth in an epic worthy of a Spielberg produced Indiana Jones movie, we have uncovered the truth. It turns out that Udo Dirkschneider was actually born Belford Fraser von Motörhead on April 6th, 1952. He was spawned out of a facial mole that fell off of a six year old Lemmy's face while on a trip to Germany with his grandfather. Where does Bon Scott come in you ask? I was just getting to that....
It seems that a 5 year old Bon Scott was also vacationing in Germany at the time and you accidentally bumped into Lemmy while eating a sausage. Somehow this bump would lead into a debate over the proper use of contraception. Bon held to the belief that the best way to prevent an accident from happening would be to drink yourself sterile, while Lemmy contended that anal sex was the way to go. One thing led to another and an epic fist fight broke out. One of Lemmy's moles fell to the ground and was mixed with the blood (DNA) of Bon Scott.
Do you need more proof. (Not) Exactly 31 years later, the classic "Balls to the Wall" was released in the US and was Accept's most popular album to date. If that isn't proof enough for you please check out the following picture. It was not easy to come by this picture and I must confess that I had to kill for it. It does, however, provide rock solid proof that Lemmy and Bon fathered Udo. This is the only known family picture ever taken, deep in the depths of the Stockholm caverns.
Comments