So you want to go to that Hannah Montana show and you heard all the reports about people getting their asses handed to them by scalpers. Well I am here to give you FREE advice on my, soon to be patented "Craig Wettner's Guide to Scalping the Scalpers."

I have been going to concerts for about ten years now and have only paid a scalper twice. Both times were in my early career, when I didn't know any better. To understand how to get tickets, you have to understand how scalpers get their tickets.

The first good rule to adhere to is, if this is a performer or band you love, join the fan club. Most fan clubs run about $30.00 and offer a great opportunity to buy, sell, or trade tickets with other fan club members. Plus it is a good way to get you psyched for the show.

The main reason to join the fan club is that you can get two opportunities to buy tickets. The fan clubs allow members access to tickets before the general public. Every concert offers varying pricing structures and so must the fan club.

Sometimes it is easier to illustrate this point with numbers. Let's say Hannah Montana is performing at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia. For a concert, the venue will hold 22,500 people. Generally speaking the fan club will secure about 20% of total sellable tickets. It may be more or less depending on the contract agreement reached between Hannah's management and the Wachovia Center.

22,500 X .20 (20%)= 4,500 fan club tickets available

Now let's assume there are three price points ($100.00, $60, and $30). The 20% of the ticket allotment has to be divided by each of the price points. That means only 1,500 fan club tickets will reside in each location.

4,500 / 3 = 1,500

Some fan clubs limit the amount of tickets you can buy to two per member. Most people will buy two anyway as they don't want to go to a concert alone. Now you just halved the amount of tickets available because people want pairs.

Now the total available ticket is 2,250 in three sections.

4,500 / 2 = 2,250 pairs available for purchase

That leaves 750 pairs available in each section.

2,250 / 3 = 750 pairs.

That 750 may seem like good odds, but think of how many Hannah Montana fans are in the Philadelphia area. But other Hannah Montana fans are not your problem. If all the fans got tickets there would be no secondary market, right?

So how do scalpers get their tickets?

The scalpers are resourceful. Their entire job is to buy, sell, and trade tickets above face value so they can make money.

One method they use, they are part of the fan club. This may shock you, but at $30.00, that is a small price to pay for priority access to tickets. The fan club fee is also a taxable write off, so it costs scalpers virtually nothing to belong.

They will also pass this fan club charge onto you. Let's assume they have a single $100.00 ticket. If they bought that ticket through the fan club, and that fan club costs $30.00 a year, the scalper needs to sell that ticket for $130.00 to break even.

Tickets can be purchased through various means. One way is the old fashioned box office. You can line up at the box office and try your luck in person. I would not recommend this way because while you are waiting in line, other people are using the internet to buy tickets. That brings up the second method, the internet. The final way to purchase tickets is through the phone. When Hannah Montana tickets go on sale to the public all three options are available for scalpers to kick your ass.

How can the scalpers beat me at the box office?

There are various methods employed by scalpers to rape you of your tickets. Let's take a look at how they can steal your tickets while you are standing in line.

Scalpers will pay people to stand in line (all night if they have to) so they can buy tickets before you. The fee is negotiated between the parties, but these people are generally done on their luck (drug addicts, alcoholics), but not always. It is tough to pick out who is a place holder in line and who is there to buy tickets.

Scalpers have also forged many relationships with people working inside the box office. They provide them gifts (monetary, gift cards, etc). So when the on-sale begins, the ticket officer has already put a special hold on a select number of tickets for the scalper.

Before you hastily blame the ticket officer, many of the officers are working for minimum wage and an under the table monetary reward (while immoral) is better than $5.75 an hour. All they have to do is put a hold on a few tickets for the show...a show they couldn't care less about.

How can the scalpers beat me on the Internet?

During the on-sale, people are paid to sit in a room with a fast internet connection and refresh the ticket page. Once they are allowed to purchase tickets, they buy the maximum amount and pay. Most of the tickets are bought before 15 minutes has even past.

But this isn't the most sleazy way to buy tickets. Have you ever wondered why you have to type that stupid alphanumeric code before the computer searches for your tickets? If they didn't have it wouldn't life be easier? You would get the ticket you wanted right? WRONG! The random word generator exists to stop computer bots.

A computer programmer created a program that will refresh the page and type the word faster than any human could ever do. Once the program gains access to the ticket database, it can view all the available tickets at the varying price ranges. It buys the best amounts and then leaves.

The program costs about $35,000 dollars and it is illegal. But that isn't stopping scalpers from using it. Ticketmaster tries their hardest to keep the computer program from entering the ticketing system, but it is impossible. The computer program can enter the ticket database in second; buy up the maximum amount of tickets at various locations, and get out before you even get in once.

How can the scalpers beat me on the phone?

This is the hardest for them to rig in their favor. But they just have more people calling than you do and beat you by sheer numbers.

How else can the scalpers beat me?

A quick search around the Philadelphia Metro area returned at least 100 ticket scalpers. It would be bad enough if you just had to deal with those 100 ticket scalping agents. But you are dealing with a network of ticket scalping agents and businesses all around the country.

The scalpers are consolidated into two larger ticketing conglomerates. Take a look at the following websites:

www.abctickets.com and www.ticketcity.com

They are not affiliated with each other, but the overall layout and design are virtually the same. That is because they belong to one of the big two ticket conglomerates. Each ticket company will share and trade tickets based on demand and availability.

Are you beginning to see the struggle you are up against? It seems impossible and with artists who haven't toured in a while (U2, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC) or popular stars (Hannah Montana, Carrie Underwood) the demand is higher...and then so is the price.

How can I beat the scalpers?

It isn't easy to beat an organization that is so money hungry they would punch your little girl in the face if they made $100.00. But diligence and hard work can pay off.

So you couldn't get ticket when the show went on sale. This is not a problem and here is why.

Most artists are given a certain number of tickets for their guests. Usually that is why that celebrity can get tickets and you seemingly can't. The amount of tickets allocated for an artist at a certain venue is negotiated through the contract. Usually it is around 40-50 tickets. These are some of the best tickets in the house, generally near the stage or right in front. Should the artist not use these tickets, then they are released to the public.

But you know artists, always last minute. So the management may not know until the day of the show that Hannah plans on having friends at the Philadelphia show. Any remaining tickets are put on sale from 10-12 am on the day of the show. If you are persistent you can score some of the best seats in the house without paying a scalper.

Not only does Hannah get tickets, but her corporate sponsor also gets tickets. These tickets are generally more than 50, sometimes 100-150 tickets. The corporate sponsor uses the tickets as a sales pitch. "Look at what we are sponsoring, why don't you buy this." Corporations rarely use all the allotted tickets and they usually are available starting about two weeks before the event.

The venue is always looking to push more people into the building. So once the stage is erected in the building, the venue takes a look at which seats they can sell and if they can put any more on the floor. This doesn't happen until the day of the show. So again, check the box office on the day of the show.

Remember I mentioned that scalpers have a relationship with the box office? Well that relationship comes back into play on the day of the show. Any unsold tickets that the scalper might have, will go back into the general on-sale ticket distribution. Another good reason to check the box office the day of the show.

I can't wait until two weeks before the event

It is understandable that you want the tickets in hand so you know you are going to the show. If this is sounds like your personality, do your homework. Each ticket has a service charge and other charges that add on to the face value. Know the face value of the ticket and work from there. Scalpers are like used car salesmen. You know the price of the ticket so bargain with them. They would rather have your money now too, than risk losing any money. 

I couldn't get tickets, I couldn't buy scalped tickets, what now?

Life is not over if you don't have tickets and the concert is about to start in five minutes. Those guys walking the parking lot will have legitimate tickets and they bought them from people in the parking lot for under face value. It is possible to snag great tickets under face value in the parking lot.

Be nice to these guys, they are professional scammers. They are armed with real and fake tickets and fake money. A quick story:

I was at a Rolling Stones show and top level tickets were 450.00 bucks. A steep price. My mom had two tickets, but I needed two more. So my mother went inside to watch John Mayer while I stood in the parking lot. She called me asking if I was in the building yet, which I wasn't. One of those scalpers went by and I asked him if he had any tickets. He said absolutely. I asked, what is the best ticket you have? He said 4th row, I got two man. I then asked how much and he quoted a price of 1000 dollars. I laughed and said seriously? The Stones are 3 minutes from taking the stage and I am going to be the last one in the venue. I think both tickets for 450 is a fair price or you will be stuck with the ticket. He agreed. But I did not pay him cash until I proved both tickets were real. I had my dad go through and have his ticket scanned. I paid the guy $225. I went through the gate and my ticket worked, and I paid him the rest.

What to look out for?

The scalpers in the parking lot love the Print At Home tickets. They can make as many as they want, and only one of the people actually has the working ticket. Then when you try to approach them to get your money back, they will apologize, deny knowledge of the fake ticket, and then hand you counterfeit money. That is the double screw job because you don't get to see the show and you lost your money. It happens more than you think.

Conclusion

It is possible to get great tickets up front if you have patience, a nothing to lose attitude, and diligence. Checking every day, two weeks prior to the event will pay off. Checking the box office on the day of the show, will pay off. Even if those methods don't work, go to the show and bargain with the guys in the parking lot. They do have real tickets. It is easy to spot a real ticket vs a fake one. I will have to demonstrate that using pictures though.