Every new year seems to bring a new pattern of crappiness in the world of music. For 2008 the new paradigm is reunions, more particularly reunions of shitty bands. Yep, if you like shit music, the world is your fucking oyster thanks to no talent ass-clowns like New Kids on the Block, The Spice Girls, Electric Devil Banjo...the list reads like your kid sister's iPod. Don't forget the decent bands following Van Halen's lead, most notably Led Zeppelin and Stone Temple Pilots (although I think its just a scheme concocted by Weiland's probation officer to keep him at least 5 states away from this drug dealer at all times.)

It's a time for selectively recalling those good memories and rediscovering the things you forgot you hated about your old bandmates. Dave and Eddie's egos are still to big to be placed in the same room, Scott Weiland is still a crackhead, The Spice Girls still suck dick (literally and figuratively) and Joey is still too pussy-whipped to play the drums. A reunion show is like Christmas day. Just put aside those petty differences and buried hatred just long enough not to murder each other while your relatives snap photos.

I'm still holding out for The Union Dead, I think they will be playing the Chinese Democracy release party.