It's another year...that isn't 1976. Fuck! Aging hippies and Gen-Xers always remind me how the 70's sucked. They say everyone dressed like my grandfather, the cars resembled Lyle Lovett with a hangover and disco blasted endlessly from the giant fissure between Earth and polyester hell.

These fuckers don't know how good they had it. Did anyone else see Dick Clark's Commercialized New Year's Eve? Dick sucked! Post-stroke Dick Clark is learning how to speak again, so the network subjected us to hours of Ryan Seacrest stinking the place up. The only breaks came when lame musical acts plowed through their current singles. I don't remember much, but The Dickface Brothers and Bitchface Underwood hogged most of the camera time.

The Seacrest shit fest turned into a pumpkin at midnight and then at least there was that motorcycle jump to watch. Sure, the guy cleared a whole football field but the record doesn't count if he's not wearing a cape and carrying a scepter... and if his name isn't Evel.



Western Civilization has been steadily declining since 1980. There was a time when a man could dress like this and still get action.




I conclude with my favorite 70's mash-up, The Greedies. 3/5s Thin Lizzy, 1/2 Sex Pistols ringing in the New Year, 1980. This guy knew what he was talking about...