Hammertime for the Internet
Have you ever received this Error message on your computer?
This is Microsoft's warning to not go back to the 90's where alternative ruled and rappers appealed more to the white populace. If you even mention the 90's, you have to follow this flow chart.
So what is MC Hammer doing these days? Funny you should ask. Stanley Burrell is putting together a series of online dance videos. Hammer has realized that with the advent of "Dancing With the Stars" and "So You Think You Can Dance?" people are clamoring for online dance videos.
Hammer has teamed up with Geoffrey Arone, co-founder of alternative web browser maker Flock, to create a new website called DanceJam. DanceJam will offer slow-motion tutorials and other dance-oriented frills in addition to all the usual social networking tools (read as: Now more sexual predator friendly).
DanceJam is "like MySpace with guardrails" according to Arone.
DanceJam is a site that let's people upload videos of themselves dancing, but that's only the beginning. In keeping with the site's hip-hop angle, its video player is encrusted in diamonds-style bling. Plus you can post a video loop as your profile picture or leave video shout-outs rather than text comments on profile pages. In fact, pretty much any interaction you want to have with another DanceJam user can happen via dancing.
That means that sexual predators will have an easier time bouncing off the restrictions to easily find your little snowflake. Then that sexual predator may brutally rape your child while doing the Charleston or perhaps the lambada.
But let me tell you what a visionary MC Hammer is.
"In 1994, I —my ego — wanted to know, 'Why can't everyone see my videos over the internet, if the internet is so great a medium?"
Hammer if you had figured that out, Google would have paid you billions. There is no good way to end this travesty of a post. So I give you the instructional video on how to do the Hammer dance.
This is Microsoft's warning to not go back to the 90's where alternative ruled and rappers appealed more to the white populace. If you even mention the 90's, you have to follow this flow chart.
So what is MC Hammer doing these days? Funny you should ask. Stanley Burrell is putting together a series of online dance videos. Hammer has realized that with the advent of "Dancing With the Stars" and "So You Think You Can Dance?" people are clamoring for online dance videos.
Hammer has teamed up with Geoffrey Arone, co-founder of alternative web browser maker Flock, to create a new website called DanceJam. DanceJam will offer slow-motion tutorials and other dance-oriented frills in addition to all the usual social networking tools (read as: Now more sexual predator friendly).
DanceJam is "like MySpace with guardrails" according to Arone.
DanceJam is a site that let's people upload videos of themselves dancing, but that's only the beginning. In keeping with the site's hip-hop angle, its video player is encrusted in diamonds-style bling. Plus you can post a video loop as your profile picture or leave video shout-outs rather than text comments on profile pages. In fact, pretty much any interaction you want to have with another DanceJam user can happen via dancing.
That means that sexual predators will have an easier time bouncing off the restrictions to easily find your little snowflake. Then that sexual predator may brutally rape your child while doing the Charleston or perhaps the lambada.
But let me tell you what a visionary MC Hammer is.
"In 1994, I —my ego — wanted to know, 'Why can't everyone see my videos over the internet, if the internet is so great a medium?"
Hammer if you had figured that out, Google would have paid you billions. There is no good way to end this travesty of a post. So I give you the instructional video on how to do the Hammer dance.
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