My love for R. Kelly is painfully apparent. I would rather hang out with maggots eating rotten Hooters food than hang out with R. Kelly. But I figured he is at least good enough for an absolutely ridiculous post.

This past week the loser released Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13-22. The series that made everyone in America laugh harder than Lewis Black doing Dennis Miller, is back with 10 more chapters.

Kelly says: "Nobody can explain this song, not even me. I can explain some of my other song, but not this one." He admitted that he has not idea what is going to happen from line to line. He thought it was all over until his creative genius realized he could rhyme "midget" with "Bridget."

You do not need a plot recap because you won't understand it anyway. Here is a better use of your time (if you are over the age of 21 follow steps 1-4) (If you are under 21 read steps 5-8)

1. Go to your local bar.
2. Find the slightly overweight, and obviously self-conscious girl drinking.
3. Feed her compliments like she is a starving pig (which if you did this right, she is)
4. Have meaningless sex with her.

5. Buy AXE body spray.
6. Go to the local mall.
7. Walk through the mall.
8. Sleep with the hottest girl/guy that is attracted to the AXE scent. (Note: BnR is not responsible for AXE not delivering like their commercials represent)