Yesterday I learned that Ozzy put on a show recently in Mountainview, CA, which immediately struck me as somewhat odd.  Mountainview is a nice, wholesome, almost uppity place filled with coffee shops, young professionals, and tech companies (and a small company called Google is there too).  That is besides the point, but the whole event got me thinking - why isn't Ozzy dead yet?

Now, before you become immediately enraged that I dare blashpheme the Prince of Darkness, consider the question from a purely biological (or even common sense) point of view.  The man is 58 but looks awful, shakes uncontrollably, has done enough drugs to kill a small army, is probably incontinent, and most likely still has cocaine from the late 1970's still flowing through his bloodstream.  How is this man still living, let alone performing?

An esteemed co-worker of mine recently relayed to me the story of how Black Sabbath recorded Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.  Well, it's not much of a story - basically, a briefcase full of blow was a staple in the recording studio.  In fact, they spent more money on coke than they made off the album.  What would their financial planners have to say about that?

But I digress.  I find it simply amazing that the man still has the capacity to breathe, pump blood, eat, and even move around.  What is the explanation for this?  Is it the artificial life-preserving nature of modern medicine that is keeping his hollow shell of a body alive even when Mother Nature would have claimed it years ago?  Has his body simply become dependent on cocaine, the way most of us depend on food and water?  Or perhaps he truly is the Prince of Darkness and has made a pact with the Dark Lord to keep him eternally alive in exchange for the occasional performance of "War Pigs"?

In a case like this, you have to marvel at the strength and endurance of the human body.  It's a fine-tuned machine that can still function even after decades of torture and abuse.  However, you can only wonder how long it will hold up...

I for one would like to see Ozzy go out on top - no dying alone in a hotel room or on a toilet for Double-O in my book.  I would much prefer it if he did so much coke on stage during his last show that his face and body melted - actually melted - like that one German at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Now that would be sweet.