After decades of allegiance to booze, sin and satan (in no particular order), King Diamond has abandoned his wicked ways and joined the moral majority. The only problem is that valiant leader, Jerry Fallwell is now deader than Stryper's career. King Diamond will lead Jerry's old flock through a worshipful set of Merciful Fate classics in Pensacola, Florida on Sunday, May 20th with a little help from closeted homosexuals Pat Boone and that guy from REO Speedwagon.

Due to the limited availability of tickets, young christians must act fast if they want to blast off to far away Pensacola and experiment with drugs and gay sex where their parents can't find them.