Only six years ago, Aaron Lewis, Mike Mushok, and two other guys who may as well have been born without names were on top of the world.  They had finished a massive touring schedule with hot bands of the time such as Limp Bizkit and Korn (sorry, there is no backwards "K" on the standard keyboard), and had released "Break the Cycle".  This album was a large departure from their previous efforts, "Tormented" and "Dysfunction".  It featured numerous formulaic ballads, no doubt brought upon by the ridiculous success of Lewis' performance of "Outside" with Fred Durst.  They released five separate singles from the album, including "It's Been Awhile" which went number 1 on the U.S. Mainstream Rock Charts for 20 weeks, and a studio version of "Outside".  Two highly successful albums would follow this, but the grittiness that could normally be expected from a Stain albums non-singles has started to fade.

It could be argued that Lewis was known for his signature voice, and his more signature depression.  His lyrics typically make you want to take a stiletto to your wrist.  Then he got married and had a child.  Once Lewis had nothing to be sad about, Staind lost it's edge.  Their popularity is still higher than the average band, but they have been replaced by another group with a formulaic sound and numerous singles. 

That band is Nickelback.  As a scary sign of the times, Staind will be opening up for Nickelback and newcomer Daughtry on an upcoming summer tour.  Now, we here at Bn'R have no love for Nickelback.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that every time you say their name, a baby develops asthma.  There is good news for Staind and for Staind fans.  We have a way for them to regain their edge and to be a dominant band again.

1. While on tour, Aaron Lewis must lure Chad Kroeger to a back room.
2. Lewis must smother him.
3. Next, he shall sprinkle some type of an illegal drug on Kroeger.  I'm thinking heroin will do the trick.
4. The authorities will assume that Kroeger overdosed.
5. Lewis can pretend to be depressed, and dedicate his next album to Kroeger.
6. The success will be greater than he ever imagined.
7. Blogs N' Roses is paid a huge sum of money by Staind for bringing their career back on track.
8. We lose it when Bob puts the entire purse on black in a game of Roulette (I've seen him do it before).