Are you looking for that hard-to-buy-for person on your Christmas list? Is that person a shameless, soul-sucking leach? Well then that person is probably a KISS fan. (I say this lovingly because I, myself am a shameless, soul-sucking KISS fan).

From the band that brought you shameless merchandise such as the KISS Koffin, the KISS makeup kit, and KISS Kondoms comes the latest in KISS merchandise. It is priced within everyone's budget ($499.95) especially for the quality of product you are receiving. Don't forget the fact that this table was hand-crafted by American Indian artisans located in Taiwan.

It is the KISS Cocktail table. The Cocktail table stands a whopping 40" high and boasts a 30" tabletop. It also features the "Rock And Roll Over" album artwork. It is now on sale in the official Kiss Shop.

In the pipeline for other KISS merchandise is the Paul Stanley Chest Hair Fluffer, Peter Criss KISS Stilts, Ace Frehley KISS Flask, Greed $immons KISS book "How to sell out and still maintain your over-inflated ego."

Look for the KISS dog turd, Baby shit KISS diapers, and KISS electromagnetic wang reducer with optional sterility setting releasing soon. Buy up my fellow KISS fans. Greed $immons needs to take golden showers.