Sheryl "testicle killer" Crow is like any typical musician, she is concerned about liberally concocted global warming. As a musician, she feels the need to tell you about how she has done some reflecting on this topic and proposes a solution she feels every American can adopt. She has decided that limiting toilet paper use is a viable option to global warming.

"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming," she wrote as a blog entry on the Biodiesel Bus blog according to the Washington Post. "Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating."

Dirty Ass Crow has decried to the townspeople that they limit the amount of squares of toilet paper they use in one sitting.

"Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only ONE SQUARE PER RESTROOM VISIT, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required."

I have had to mediate on this to figure out how this would work. Let's assume that we are a female in a public restroom and only have to urinate. The labia does not offer the cleanest urination, effectively spraying urine and splashing it carelessly around the bowl. This is not generally a problem with two-ply, scented squares. However, with Ms Crow's single square rule and with our public restroom caveat, you are looking down the barrel of a single-ply square to soak up Hurricane Katrina.

What if your forest hasn't been harvested for the very paper you are about to employ? The long, black trees will soak up that water as if their very survival depended on it. This will cause your single-ply to turn into a no-ply. The only relief you may receive is the dryness of your supple, womanly hands, and the blue jumper resting on your sandals, in which to wipe said supple hands.

Your only clear shot would be if your Amazon jungle has gone through some deforestation. Now your floors are hardwood and you don't have to clean each tree. But still the possibility of using a single square is impossible for any clean, sane person.

Clearly, Ms. Crow needs to go back to the drawing board on this topic or share her secrets for how she urinates. I would like to see video of her wiping style.