Blogs N' Roses: Avril Lavigne to defeat Nine Inch Nails and some scary predictions for the future

Avril Lavigne to defeat Nine Inch Nails and some scary predictions for the future

In yet another sign of the impending apocalypse, or at least the final destructioon of the rock industry, mediocre pop-rock princess Avril Lavigne is fixing to defeat the Nine Inch Nails in first week album sales. Avril has taken some time off from sodomizing her husband, Sum 41 vocalist/guitarist Deryck Whibley, to record the follow-up to her 2004 album, "Under My Skin". The album is expected to sell somewhere in the range of 200,000 records, which is actually a lot less than "Under My Skin", which opened with 380,500 units. According to Reuters:

Each should open with more than 200,000 copies, a welcome boost for the Billboard 200, where the chart-topper on four occasions this year, including the current week, has sold less than 90,000 copies.

Meanwhile, Trent Reznor's concept album, "Year Zero", is expected to pull in a very close second to Lavigne. The album, which takes place about 15 years in the future, in the fictional Year 0000. I don't quite know what Reznor expects in to happen 15 years in the future, but here is what Bn'R sees taking place, at least in the music industry:

The Gn'R album, "Chinese Democracy", will lose it's irony, when China actually becomes a democracy.
The Rolling Stones will embark on their "Blind, Deaf, and Dumb World Tour". The "Impotent Tour" will not happen for another ten years after that though.
Phil Anselmo will discover a cure for heroin addiction......unfortunately the cure is the newly developed "Super Heroin".
Tom Petty will no longer be known as the ugliest man in acoustic rock when Motorhead releases an unplugged album.
While on the subject of Motorhead, Lemmy Kilmister will have his mole removed. The mole has at this point, developed it's own central nervous system. It will evolve into a seperate entity and enslave the entire nation of Germany paving the way for World War IV.