As few people know, because no one cares, Brett Scallions of Fuel has now been cast as fake Jim Morrison in Ray Manzarek's merry Doors tribute band, Riders on the Storm. Here's The Doors Conventional Wisdom, forth week of March 2007, for those keeping score at home.

Ray Manzarek: Down - Not only is Ray greedy and destroying the legacy of dead friends, he's also desperate enough  get a Johnny-come-lately alt-rocker to fill in for Morrison. A new low.

Robbie Krieger: Down - Isn't it about time to stand up to greedy uncle Ray?  

Brett Scallions: Up - Left old band, a bunch of losers still latching on to the crappy corporate Alternative aftermath.  Now gets fake Morrison gig, at least he's getting some free leather pants out of this thing.

John Densmore: Up - Proving you can't buy integrity, and can sleep at night because A. not being disturbed by screaming teenage girls trying to fuck Brett Scallions B. He didn't piss on Morrison's grave.

Jim Morrison: Even - Still the Lizard King, but still dead.