Some people go to great lengths to meet their idols. I slaughtered puppies and ritualistically blood let on an altar of crushed tin cans and hypodermic needles to meet Joey Fatone from N*Sync. My hard work paid off and I met him in the hotel lobby of the Luxor casino in 1998.

Then there is William Irwin editor of "Metallica and Philosophy: A Crash Course in Brain Surgery." He wanted to meet his musical idols Metallica, so he 'Kierkegaard-ed' Metallica lyrics and noticed they matched up with notable Western philosophers. It is said that the book is "a provocative study of the 'thinking man's' metal band" The highlights include:

• Maps out the connections between Aristotle, Nietzsche, Marx, Kierkegaard, and Metallica to demonstrate the band's philosophical significance.
• Uses themes in Metallica's work to illuminate topics such as freedom, truth, identity, existentialism, questions of life and death, metaphysics, epistemology.
• Draws on Metallica's lyrical content, Lars Ulrich's relationship with Napster, as well as the documentary "Some Kind of Monster."

I could go on, however you can read it in this fluff piece provided by the publisher. I am not even bothering to HTML reference it. http://www.blackwellpublishing.com/book.asp?ref=9781405163484&site=1

The name Metallica and Aristotle should never be in the same sentence together, let alone the same book. The last thing we need is some jackass, ectophyte, stale, sack-sucking, impregnated, corpulent, asshole, 'philosophizing' about Kierkegaard. Leave communism to the Bolsheviks and the Aristotelian logic to those who utilize it instead of emotions.

If I hear one person discussing Nietzsche's "God is dead" claim in a legitimate conversation at a Metallica show, I will drop to my knees and cut my scrotum with the razor blade I smuggled into the show. Then take my right testicle and sever the vas deferens. Then with my old testicle in hand, force feed it to the man who said that. No man should discuss philosophy at a Metallica show, EVER!

I have included a few prime lyrical candidates for philosophical lyrics:

• "My lifestyle determines my deathstyle."
• "Frantic tick tick tick tick tick tick tock"
• "I'm madly in anger with you"
• "It ain't my fall, it ain't my call. It ain't my bitch"
• "Then it comes to be, Yeah (repeat 8 times)"
• "Hey Hey Hey Here I go now / Here I go into new days / Hey Hey Hey"