Blogs N' Roses

Gigantour 2012 Review with Updated Setlists

Gigantour has returned after four years on hiatus. Dave Mustaine admitted last night the reason for the break was actually Motorhead. He wanted to do a tour with the legendary band and their notoriously busy touring schedule were the issue. The touring show brought various bands of different sub-metal genres and different countries together on one bill. Megadeth (America), Motorhead (England), Volbeat (Denmark), Lacuna Coil (Italy).

We arrived late to the show thanks to traffic and a driving snafu caused by inattentiveness and we missed Lacuna Coil. They start the show at exactly 6:30 and play 30 minutes. They were off the stage by 7:05 when we arrived. If you want to see Lacuna Coil, get there early.

I have been wanting to see Volbeat for a while now and was pissed when they rolled through my town and played a 200 person club in a town you never heard of. Instead of seeing the show, I masturbated listening to their music...terrible mistake on my part. I had to pay almost 60 bucks to see them now instead of 15 earlier.

The stage set up for the other bands were minimal - simply a banner of the band's name/logo/latest album cover. I must apologize to those on Twitter that I sent the setlist to because it was incorrect. After much arguing with fellow fans "No I am sure they played 16 Dollars." No dude that was Pool of Booze. I now have the "correct setlist," which you can see below.

The band sounded great. Wonderful power and energy, but I felt the bigger stage was intimidating to them. I didn't feel they utilized it properly (bass player moved from stage left microphone to stage right microphone and they were positioned in the middle of the stage) They didn't really play for the fans sitting in the back, but focused more inward and the fans in front of the stage. I proclaimed after the set "They would have been awesome to see in a bar." I stand by that statement.

Those who are familiar with Volbeat, they mix a harder edge with a light pop sense. They downplayed the poppy set regulars and focused on the harder ones. Guitar Gangsters and Cadillac Blood, The Mirror and the Ripper, Who They Are all have that edge the fans of Gigantour would be looking for. I swear they played 16 Dollars, but I got punched in the balls when I said that, so I guess they didn't play it. Volbeat are relatively new to the American music scene and not a lot of people have heard from them. They opted for the cheap thrills "Give it up for Metal" "Give it up for Johnny Cash" I half expected a "Anyone out there Camden" call out (Even though it's technically a Philadelphia show).

That being said, Sad Man's Tongue got a great sing-a-long and the crowd responded to that song. Don't get me wrong, Volbeat put on a great show, but they just would be an awesome sweaty drunk bar band where you could mosh, toss your devil horns in the air and twirl....metal heads twirl right? They played for about 35-40 minutes.

I have seen Motorhead over five times and usually their opener and closer is "We are Motorhead and we play Rock N' Roll." They didn't even introduce themselves, they walked on stage and busted right into Bomber and Damage Case. It was around this time a microphone blew out in the drums and caused a horrific, ear searing drum echo in my ear even though I had plugs in. You can't hear Lemmy when he sings anyway, but tonight was worse. His voice was drowned out over the drums and his own bass. I key off what the song is from the guitar riff and the lyrics (as most do), I was hindered by the fact I couldn't hear any guitar and none of the lyrics. I was guessing at the setlist at one point as I just couldn't pick up any of the songs thanks to the blown mic and the unmixed audio. I was sitting dead center (section 102) where one would think the sound should have been balanced.

I expect these kinds of errors in the first night of the tour. If the mix sounded impeccable, I would have been worried because I would have slipped into bizzarro world. I haven't been to a first tour kick off that went smoothly. No matter the amount of planning and mission planning, some things are better tested live. I'll get back to this point with Megadeth in a minute.

If this was your first time seeing Motorhead, I am sorry. Your only experience is that they are loud. They are loud, but their show is usually way better. I expected a Mikkey Dee drum solo; he is one of the best rock drummer out there. But when your set is only 40-45 minutes long, a five minute drum solo is a bit excessive. Five minutes is at least a song and half for Motorhead. I think they are going to get things worked out, massage the road rust, and get that sound balanced.

Megadeth closed the show (of course) and had a big light spectacle. There were so many flashing lights that if you have epilepsy really don't recommend staying for Megadeth. You will seize and you will probably like it. Unlike Motorhead, I was able to hear the guitar here hurled by Mustaine and Broderick, but I couldn't hear a damn thing Dave was singing. His vocals were so low, at times, I thought he forgot the lyrics (unpossible) or he wasn't singing when he should have been.

The band started with a simple Megadeth black drop cloth behind them. By the time they went into the Thirteen, their latest album, portion of the set (see below) the backdrop was lowered revealing six LED rectangular screens. The screens displayed several iconic images from Megadeth (Radiation symbol, 13 album cover, etc).

Dave looks full healed from his neck surgery. He played amazingly well and dead on. He was even headbanging a bit, a sight to see considering how bad his neck injury was just four months ago. The crowd chanted "Dave for President." That got a great reaction from Mustaine making him quib "Could you imagine that?"

It's tough when bands that have a legendary back catalog like Megadeth put out a new album. The older fans seem to shy away from the material, but that wasn't the case with the Philly fans of Megadeth. They responded just as favorably to Public Enemy Number 1 and Guns, Drugs and Money as they did with Hangar 18 and Sweating Bullets. That is a testament to the staying power of Megadeth and how he has never strayed from the formula that works for him. Thirteen (the band's thirteenth studio album) stands up alongside some of the older records as a prototypical Megadeth record.

A highlight of the show for an American man who missed Lacuna Coil, was the part when Dave Mustaine introduced Christina Scabbaia from Lacuna Coil to help with vocal duty on A Tout Le Monde. But once again, the poor sound mixing hindered the performance. I could barely hear her or him vocally over the music. You could get glimpses of her voice and the power she has, but Megadeth overpowered the vocals.

The sound issues will be worked out by the next show, I am confident of that. The sound was actually my only gripe with the whole Gigantour. Every band put on an entertaining show and I certainly felt I got my money's worth from each band. Volbeat seemed to be the highlight of many evenings, but for this metal head from way back, it was seeing the Hall of Fame entrant Dave Mustaine on stage hurling licks and riffs with his patented Flying V Dean guitar.

Volbeat (35-40 Minutes)
The Human Instrument
Guitar Gangsters & Cadillac Blood
Radio Girl
Sad Man's Tongue
Hallelujah Goat
The Mirror and the Ripper
Fallen
Who they Are
Pool of Booze, Booze
Still Counting
And I swear 16 dollars

Motorhead (40-45 minutes)
Bomber
Damage Case
I Know How to Die
Metropolis
Over the Top
The Chase is Better than the Catch
The One to Sing the Blues
Going to Brazil
Killed by Death
Ace of Spades
Overkill

Megadeth (50-55 minutes)
Trust
Wake Up Dead
Hangar 18
Sweating Bullets
Angry Again
Poison was the Cure
Dawn Patrol
Public Enemy # 1
Whose Life
Guns Drugs & Money
A Tout Le Monde with Christina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil
Symphony of Destruction
Peace Sells
Holy Wars

If you want to see some bad ass images from the show, look no further than Rock N Shots Live's Facebook page. They take great pictures and are significantly higher quality than the ass camera I smuggled in.

Mastodon's Dry Bone Valley

To create the video for their new single Dry Bone Valley, Mastodon teamed up with noted fine artist Tim Biskup, a long-time friend, who boasts a complex color and design theories and a decidedly populist aesthetic. Or so some artsy-fartsy critic tells me. This collaboration with Mastodon marks Biskup's first foray into film/video work in nearly six years.

"Doing video for 'Dry Bone Valley' was a dream project," says Biskup. "The band's aesthetic has always been interesting and inspiring to me and I think what I do aligns with their music. When I pitched my idea, it was very vague - like a stream-of-consciousness poem - more than a traditional treatment. They were on board from the start and willing to trust me and let me experiment. It let me follow the same kind of path that I go down when I work on improvised paintings and sculptures. I love working on film, but finding people who trust me enough to just let me do my thing is tricky, so I'm thrilled to venture back in with this project."

Ok that was a pretty lofty description and rather than ruin the video with my thoughts, I am going to let you experience it completely unedited and unfiltered through my hazy lens.

Red Hot Chili Peppers Release Look Around Video

The Red Hot Chili Peppers have released a video for their second single Look Around. The single can be found on their new album I'm With You. You can find full tour dates at this location and the new video below. Simple post because there is no news here.

Bruce Springsteen Announce 2012 Tour Dates

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band are taking their merriment out on the road this Spring. This will be the band's first tour since the death of Clarence Clemons, who died on June 18, 2011.

The tour will be in support of Wrecking Ball, the band's new studio album due out on March 6.

March 18: Atlanta, Ga. (Philips Arena)
March 19: Greensboro, N.C. (Greensboro Coliseum)
March 23: Tampa, Fla. (Tampa Bay Times Forum)
March 26: Boston, Mass. (TD Garden)
March 28: Philadelphia, Pa. (Wells Fargo Center)
March 29: Philadelphia, Pa. (Wells Fargo Center)
April 1: Washington, D.C. (Verizon Center)
April 3: East Rutherford, N.J. (Izod Center)
April 4: East Rutherford, N.J. (Izod Center)
April 6: New York, N.Y. (Madison Square Garden)
April 9: New York, N.Y. (Madison Square Garden)
April 12: Detroit, Mich. (The Palace of Auburn Hills)
April 13: Buffalo, N.Y. (First Niagara Center)
April 16: Albany, N.Y. (Times Union Center)
April 17: Cleveland, Ohio (Quicken Loans Arena)
April 24: San Jose, Calif. (HP Pavilion)
April 26: Los Angeles, Calif. (Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena)
April 29: New Orleans, L.A. (New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival)
May 2: Newark, N.J. (Prudential Center)

That is an interesting tour, focusing on a small subset of the country (mostly East Coast) and doing two days in most cities. Bruce is always a good show, but I am really curious to see how the new sax-a-ma-phone player fits into the fold. I am sure fine, but he...or she...will have big shoes to fill literally and figuratively.

Substitute Clarence for Lisa and this is how I feel.

Royal Bliss Release Waiting Out the Storm

Royal Bliss is a great band out of Salt Lake City, Utah. We featured their first release Life In Between here and our interview with Neal here.

One of the things I like about the band is the powerful emotion which Neal is able to emote through his voice. His soft story telling helps listeners connect viscerally with the music of Royal Bliss.

The band has released Waiting Out the Storm today and the first single Crazy should be heard on radio shortly. But you don't want to wait do you? Well that's why you come here because we cater to those with ADD.


I feel the band has once again recaptured the magic of Life In Between. If you are a fan of that record, you will love this new one. Check it out and then go and see the band on tour.

1-27-12 MANKATO, MN BUSTERS
1-28-12 BURLINGTON, IA THE EVENTS CENTER
2-02-12 OTTAWA, IL RURAL OAKS
2-03-12 JANESVILLE, WI BACK BAR
2-04-12 KENOSHA, WI BRAT STOP
2-07-12 LANSING, MI THE LOFT
2-10-12 BATTLE CREEK, MI PLANET ROCK
2-11-12 FLINT, MI THE MACHINE SHOP
2-15-12 MARION, OH TINK’S ROCK

Red Hot Chili Peppers Add More Dates

The Red Hot Chili Peppers have announced more tour dates, despite postponing a bunch of dates due to Anthony Keidis foot problem. More on that here. The interesting thing here is that the original dates were around Janurary-April. Those dates were postponed to late summer. Now new tour dates are out and the tour begins in April. I guess Keidis' foot should be ok by then.

I actually saw Lenny Kravitz perform an entire show with his foot in a cast. Of course, he mostly stood there tapping his cast on the stage and gyrated his shoulders. Still was a damn good show though. Here are NEW dates for the RHCP tour.

04/27              Toronto, ON                          Air Canada Center (on sale 1/27)

04/30              Ottawa, ON                           Scotiabank Place (on sale 1/27)

05/02              Montreal, QC                        Bell Centre (on sale 1/28)

05/04              Newark, NJ                            Prudential Center (on sale 1/28)

05/07              Boston, MA                           TD Bank North Garden (on sale 1/27)

05/10              Washington, DC                   Verizon Center (on sale 1/27)

05/11              Philadelphia, PA                   Wells Fargo Center (on sale 1/27)

05/25              St. Louis, MO                        Scottrade Arena (on sale 1/28)

05/26              Grand Rapids, MI                 Van Andel Arena (on sale 1/27)

05/28              Chicago, IL                             Allstate Arena (on sale 1/28)

05/30              Pittsburgh, PA                      Consol Energy Center (on sale 1/27)

06/01              Detroit, MI                            Palace of Auburn Hills (on sale 1/27)

06/02              Cleveland, OH                      Quicken Loans Arena (on sale 1/27)

06/04              Columbus, OH                     Schottenstein Center (on sale 1/27)

06/06              Cincinnati, OH                      U.S. Bank Arena (on sale 1/27)

06/07              Louisville, KY                        KFC Yum Center (on sale 1/28)

The Placenta Stone Language Software to Get Laid

BnR Products Inc is branching out into the Language Teaching realm. We are cornering the market on teaching you a new language. The Rosetta Stone software is the gold standard of language learning tools, however, they teach you book language. You don't want to talk like a fag and like your shits all retarded. You want actual phrases that can help you get laid. That is why we are proud to announce our language expert, Kevin Federline, and our language software: The Placenta Stone.

The Placenta Stone is an all inclusive "getting laid bundle" for those travelling abroad. We had to determine which languages would warm blooded, dick sinking American males have the best luck at nabbing that foreign pussy. That is why we signed on Kevin Federline; because honestly if he can't teach us Portuguese who can?

You will learn key phrases like:

Popozao - bring your azz
QueremSex - I want sex
Eu tenho um penis grande - I have a big penis
Eu gosto de gatos lambendo - I like to lick cats*

*Some English derogatory terms like pussy or cock do not necessarily translate to actual Portuguese words. We used euphemisms, which we guarantee will work in the club scene of Rio.

This is only a sampling of what The Placenta Stone can do for you. But don't just take our word for it. Here is Humbert Humbert (yes his real name Google him).

"I went to Vietnam and used the The Placenta Stone to get caught up on the terminology I would need to successfully navigate the seedy underbelly of the child sex slave industry. I used a few key phrases from the Placenta Stone and had a nine year old girl in my hotel room six minutes later. For example, I only had to utter Tôi muốn cô con gái nhỏ and the little girls were at my door. Thanks Placenta Stone!"

Our supurb language levels take you from the foreplay to the act and then the "get the hell out" phase of your hookups. Each phase is broken down like this:

Level 1

Level 1 is what we call the "PopoZao" or "Get Your Azz" phase of the hookup. You will learn key phrases to let a member of the opposite sex know you are interested in dropping anchor in their Santa Monica Pier.

Level 2

Level 2 is generally an optional phase, but we recommend buying it. This is the nasty talk during the act. You could just position your Brazilian conquest into reverse cowgirl, but how about you be a nice guy and ask her to assume the position. Level 2 helps you communicate during this hot, steamy phase.

Level 3

Level 3 is a must buy. After delivering your super seed to the hopefully shielded womb of a Cantonese woman, you need to kick her out of your hotel room. You should beat her with the leather whip until she leaves, but how about you be a gentleman and ask her to leave.

Look for our special add-on packages for those into Bondage and Sadomasochism. This is a separate add-on as not everyone needs to know how to ask a woman to shove a pig tail dildo in their ass and carve their flesh like a rustic farmer.

The Placenta Stone will revolutionize the way you learn language and hook up abroad. Give us a shot. If you aren't laid using our language system, we will upgrade your account at no additional charge. If you mention this advertisement during checkout (keyword: BlogsNRoses), we'll give you 10% off your first purchase. 

Placenta Stone

Nikki Sixx Relates Seeing Crue Live to Screwing Strippers

Nikki Sixx was chatting with Carol Anne Szel of Powerline and he gave a dumb answer.

Powerline: How would you describe today's MÖTLEY CRÜE?

Nikki Sixx: I think you'll get a different answer from everybody in the band. That's what I love about our band; it's like four different personalities. But in my opinion, I feel MÖTLEY CRÜE is built to insult you. We're here to assault you. I'm not interested in snuggling and a kiss. I just want to get right to fuckin'. And it's, like, SIXX: A.M. is seductive, sexually charged, beautiful evening out under the moon that ends up making love. Fortunately in a graveyard. MÖTLEY CRÜE, it's just like fucking a nasty stripper that's probably gonna give you a disease. And I'm proud of that. I don't want us to be tame; I don't ever want us to be rightable. The things that we do and say. And our lyrics, it amazes me to this day that they will play "Shout At The Devil" on radio. It says, "I'll be the love in your eyes; I'll be the blood between your thighs." I'm like, "Are you sure you're listening to the lyrics?" We're not BON JOVI. It's a miracle; the whole thing's a miracle.

I bolded the part that is really interesting. I know that after 20 years of being asked the same question you have to think of things that are a little "outside the box." This description isn't something flattering though.

One thing I learned from Mystery from the VH1 show The Pick Up Artist, it's that strippers are the apex of women. Picking up a stripper for sex seems easy (sex is their business), but mind you they have seen and heard it all from groveling peons with small phalluses. Trying to nail a stripper without a nice looking car (that's relative to the stripper), a hint of monetary stability (again relative to the stripper), or a meat head look (relative of King Kong) is damn near impossible. Us pasty, white guys moderately hung with a safe, stable blogging job just don't fight the strippers off with ugly sticks.

I have enjoyed the Russian Roulette of an STD laden swallow(er). I have dabbled in a fine Friday night Game Night, where the game was "Does this look infected?" or "If it's Shark Night, can she get pregnant?" It's an experience I left only with scars and knowing I'd never want to do it again.

Who would want to spin the Roulette wheel of STD with a dirty stripper? Only two people in the United States, Mystery and Kevin Federline. If you want to risk getting a nasty disease and taking Valtrex for the rest of your life, Motley Crue are playing in Feburary four times a week at The Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. Tickets here.

Fozzy Sign with Century Media Records

Fozzy, the brain child of Chris Jericho (WWE Wrestler) and Rich Ward (Stuck Mojo), have signed a record deal with Century Media Records. This is good news for fans of the band and for the band itself. Fozzy can now reach a broader audience with major label backing.

I have been following wrestling since I was seven. I used to get in trouble in fifth grade with R.Hansell for acting out wrestling moves. We were so convincing at fake punching one another, we used to get set to the principles office for fighting. (TRUE story) I left and went to Catholic school to be touched by a priest. Hansell went on to a different Catholic school to not be touched by a priest. When we met up in high school, the first thing I did was run and hit him with a chair. Turns out, he was over his wrestling acting and I received a real demerit for fighting. We didn't talk afterward.

I found Fozzy from their debut album, which was largely filled with cover songs. I followed Chris Jericho through his wrestling career and he kept promoting this metal band. I checked it out and was hooked.

Chris liberally uses vocal effects to hide his insufficient voice. However, I love the music and his voice never kills a song. Check out Nameless Faceless off All That Remains.


The best part of the music is the simple design. Quick verse verse chorus structure and never does it take itself too serious. It is a party metal record and it's fantastic running/working out music. The groove helps keep you on an 8-9 minute mile mark, too bad I can't reach an 8-9 minute mile mark. More like 15 minute mile! 

Signing with Century Media gives Fozzy an outlet for the follow up to Chasing the Grail. Their Century Media debut is sans title, but will be released in the summer (2012).  

Again Chasing the Grail sees a thicker, heavier sound brought to the band, but the same vocal effects remain attached to Jericho's voice. It's not terrible, but the songs sound more like Ozzy Osbourne's Down to Earth or how Ozzy "sings" now. Check out Martyr off Chasing the Grail. It's still a solid song, but I keep thinking Ozzy is singing it.


I am still excited about the news and it coincides with Jericho's return to the WWE. I don't watch wrestling as much anymore, but I still wear my Bret Hart tights to bed some nights. I am the Excellence of Execution of Masturbation. I am the Best there is, The Best there was, The best there ever will be at slogging myself off.

KoRn Announce Tour Dates

KoRn is bringing The Path of Totality out on the road this winter. They are going to hit small theaters it seems - a far step down from what they were playing in their heyday.

I thought their new album The Path of Totality had a lot of promise, especially after hearing the first single Narcissistic Cannibal. But the album quickly became repetitive and never matched the lead single. I think the only way I can truly describe the listening experience is that it was a pissing contest where I continued to drink my own piss more and more. Each song tried to out do the preceding song with more over dubs, more processed basslines, and more compressed, stuttering vocals. Soon I had a mouthful of piss and I was attempting to swallow it fast because KoRn kept their steamy, nutty stream flowing right into my eyes, nostrils, and my mouth. I had no other recourse, but to swallow it. By the end of the album, my belly was full; I reeked of salty secretion, and I felt so, so dirty. I wouldn't recommend this album to anyone. I also wouldn't even give it to my ex-girlfriend who gave me crabs that one time.

I am a cynical man and realize some of you still might be ingesting "bro-dance" or whatever the fuck Skrillex considers themselves these days. If that's the case, and you really loved the album, the tour dates are below:

Feb 23 – Detroit, MI @ Filmore Auditorium
Feb 24 – Chicago, IL @ Congress Theater
Feb 25 – Milwaukee, WI @ Eagles Ballroom
Feb 27 – Denver, CO @ First Bank Center
Feb 28 – Salt Lake City, UT @ The Complex
Mar 1 – Phoenix, AZ @ Comerica Theatre
Mar 2 – Las Vegas, NV @ Pearl Concert Theatre at Palms Casino
Mar 3 – San Bernardino, CA @ Smokeout Festival
Mar 4 – San Francisco, CA @ Warfield Theater

King Diamond Partner with Booking Agents

If you follow me on Twitter, I announced that I was going to stand in solidarity with the other websites going black to stand against Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA). However, like a true nerd, all the cool kids told me it was happening today. So I got ready to publish a big post about it and realized it was just me standing on the front lines with my dick out. Looks like I am going to have to do work today, but WEDNESDAY WE RIDE!

King Diamond has signed a deal with booking agents Nick Storch at ICM and Paul Ryan at The Agency Group. Storch will be in charge of booking King Diamond concerts in North and South America, and Paul Ryan will handle King Diamond dates in Europe and the rest of the world.

What could that mean? Oh yea, a world tour! It will be great to finally get a taste of the almighty Diamond live. His latest album, Give Me Your Soul...Please, (he didn't use to be that polite) is a wonderfully done metal album, if you like King Diamond. Check out the Grammy nominated Best Metal Song Never Ending Hill.

Blink 182 Release Video for After Midnight Single

Blink 182 are back and have released a new song called After Midnight. The single is off their newest album Neighborhoods and I like the song a lot. It sounds like one of Blink's more introspective songs. It's wonderfully Blink.

The rest of the album has more mature themes revolving around death and loss. Those themes make a lot of sense when you think of the friends Blink lost since they were together, Travis' fiery plane crash, and friendships (their own) torn asunder by fighting.

Long gone are the days of taking your pants off while watching TV and wondering what their age is. Also gone are the days of making out with punk girls at rock shows. What's left, is a vastly more mature Blink 182 and it's their best record to date.

Introducing the Alice in Chains Angry Chair for Kids

From the minds that brought you KISS-pons (tampons) and KISS ASS, are branching out into other band marketing schemes. We are happy to introduce the Alice in Chains Angry Chair for Kids. Here is their marketing slick:

Do you have a time out chair or a time out stair where you send your child when they are misbehaving? Do you often find your child wiggling around and not paying attention to their misdeed? Well BnR Products IncorporatedTM has the perfect solution for you - the Alice in Chains Angry Chair for Kids.

Most times an unruly child just won't sit still and contemplate the actions that caused them to receive a time-out or the playful slap on the rear. The Alice in Chains Angry Chair, will compassionate constrain Junior so he can think about his mistakes. Nothing is more annoying when you have to see your child wiggling around the chair, whining or groveling about "never doing it again." The Angry Chair will force them to focus on the act like Alex from Anthony Burress' A Clockwork Orange.

The Angry Chair has been carefully molded using all organic plastic and foam from Alice in Chain's hometown of Seattle, Washington. The careful attention to detail is evident the moment you sit in the chair or have to restrain your wily child. The Angry Chair has thick leather belts similar to the ones used to tie off the veins of one Layne Staley. But don't take our word for it, here is Fred Heinemann:

I thought the belts were going to be too rough for Fred Jr. tiny arms. I was pleasantly surprised that the belts had several notches and fit his small arms perfectly. If those belts were effective enough to expose Lanyne Staley's collapsed veins, they certainly are durable enough to restrain Fred Jr.

The Alice in Chains Angry Chair is made with the finest Corinthian foam found in most Chrysler vehicles in the '70s. You won't have any qualms smacking your child's bottom, knowing the Corinthian foam will be hugging their buns like Jerry Sandusky in a locker room.

The Angry Chair has a strong, metal bass (base) inspired by the thick, heavy bass playing of Mike Inez. No longer will you have to worry about the Dora The Explorer green chair toppling over with the vigorous thrashing your tantrum laden child is tossing around. The base is strong enough to sustain a 160lbs (72.5 KG) man thrashing about.

The chair has been through several trials with the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections and has successfully restrained drunkards, Meth addicts, spitters, and the occasional swallower. It is back by a lifetime guarantee that the restraints and the chair will never break.

Alice in Chains Angry Chair

Look out for other products for children from BnR Products Incorporated like The Bon Iver Potty Trainer and the Skrillex Kitchenette set complete with Corn Skrillex grilling utensils.

Red Hot Chili Peppers Postpone US Tour

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are postponing their United States tour to allow Anthony Kiedis time to recover from foot surgery. Kiedis recently underwent surgery to remove a crushed sesamoid bone and correct a detached flexor tendon in his foot and is expected to make a full recovery.

If you were wondering where your sesamoid bones were, let the Mayo clinic inform you:

Photobucket

Here are the old tour dates and the new tour dates.

Old Date        New Date        City                             Venue

01/20              04/02              Sunrise, FL                Bank Atlantic Center*

01/21              03/31              Orlando, FL               Amway Arena*

01/23              03/29              St. Petersburg, FL     St. Pete Times Forum

01/25              04/06              Charlotte, NC            Time Warner Cable Arena

01/27              04/04              Raleigh, NC                RBC Center*

01/28              04/07              Columbia, SC             Colonial Life Arena*

01/30              04/10              Atlanta, GA                Gwinnett Center*

01/31              04/09              Greensboro, NC        Greensboro Coliseum

02/03              04/12              Memphis, TN              FedEx Forum*

02/04              10/04              New Orleans, LA        New Orleans Arena*

02/17              08/14              Oakland, CA               Oakland Arena*

02/18              08/15              Oakland, CA               Oakland Arena*

02/26              08/11              Los Angeles, CA         Staples Center*

02/27              08/12              Los Angeles, CA         Staples Center*

02/29              09/23              San Diego, CA            Valley View Casino Center*

03/02              09/25              Phoenix, AZ               Jobring Arena

03/04              09/27              Denver, CO                Pepsi Center*

03/06              09/29              San Antonio, TX        AT&T Center*

03/08              10/20              Houston, TX              Toyota Center*

03/09              10/02              Dallas, TX                   American Airlines Arena*

03/13              10/24              Tulsa, OK                   BOK Arena

03/15              10/22              Oklahoma City, OK  Chesapeake Arena

03/16              10/25              Little Rock, AR           Verizon Arena

Motley Crue Getting Ready for Residency in Las Vegas

Motley Crue are putting the final production touches on their residency at The Joint at the Hard Rock Casino. The residency runs from February 3 until February 19 with the band playing four times a week.

Nikki Sixx has been trying to drum up interest in this event and posted the following on his site:

"We've been ironing out all the production details for the shows in Vegas at The Joint at the Hard Rock. This is the biggest production MÖTLEY CRÜE has ever done to date and everybody creatively is shooting for the moon. We can't wait to see the look on your faces when we unveil this monster to you guys in February.

He adds: Just to clarify... It IS NOT just a rock show, it's an EXTRAVAGANZA. Can you guess what that might mean?"

I am guessing it means negative profits for the promotion company. I don't see the demand for a Motley Crue residency in Las Vegas. Yes, they have specific hotel packages that give you tickets to the show along with a stay at The Hard Rock Hotel. But I just don't see Americans, who are dealing with categorically high unemployment, shipping of jobs overseas, and the loss of savings, paying for trips to Las Vegas to see Vince Neil sing every fourth word of your favorite Motley Crue songs.

Of course, I can't go on conjecture and intuition, I decided to head to Ticketmaster and search for tickets to the opening night on February 3. I went through the ticket finding process, selecting eight (8) tickets, the most you could buy, and I was able to pull up eight tickets in the orchestra (section 101). Those tickets were $81.00 a piece.

I think that goes to show you that the tickets really are not selling for this EXTRAVAGANZA. It is still a month away and I know Vegas is very last minute and deceiving with tickets. The hotel holds a few of tickets back as comps for high rollers or give them to other casinos for comps. But 100 level tickets a month away for opening night is a pretty telling sign.

The Stay packages (which includes a room and a ticket are $319.00-$499.00 a night. A NIGHT! That's rough even for a rich blogger like myself. If you are heading to the show and want to write a review for the show, email us. I'd love to get a review of the show during the residency run. You can make your big blog debut! 

Here is the promotion video that has been released to help promote the event:


Van Halen Release Album Artwork for A Different Kind of Truth

This post is best read while listening to Sexy Lady by the Commodores.


Here it is - the cover of A Different Kind of Truth by Van Halen.

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I have been told by those in the know, that the album looks exactly like Movin On by the Commodores.

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While I am a big Lionel Richie fan, I can't say I was a big fan of the Commodores. I was, however, a big fan of the Commodore 64.

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Actually I would have enjoyed a Van Halen album art imaged for Colecovision.

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If you haven't heard about the new Van Halen single, Tattoo, you can check out my review here and listen to the song in the same post. See how we consolidate here?

Van Halen Release Tattoo As New Single

It has been since 1984 since we heard new music from Van Halen with David Lee Roth and we finally heard the first single today. The first single Tattoo will be on the new record coming out on February 7th entitled A Different Kind of Truth. There have been a lot of mixed reactions from the release of this single. "It will kill your erection," "Highly disappointing," "As a lifelong Van Halen fan I am embarrassed." I think we all need to step away from the ledge here folks.

Before we continue, take a moment to listen to the song and watch the video.


Eddie's guitar tone is better than it has been in years and dare I say vintage Eddie. The rhythm section is tight and solid. The light synth work harks back to 1984 bridging the gap between then and now. It has an excellent Van Halen groove where Wolfie and Alex lock in and let Ed roll over the top with solos or lock in with a rhythm.

The bad, Dave's vocals are bad. I didn't expect him to scream and yell like he did when he was 20/30. I know that voice's go as people age and DLR always used a higher register mixed with low lounge, which helped define VH. We have to come to grips with the fact his voice isn't what it is. While I don't like the tone of it, I can live with it.

The lyrics are nonsensical. Van Halen lyrics have always been full of nonsense, but this song seems to take the cake. There are some funny moments in the lyrics, but "Purple mountains Majesty" is a dumb lyric even in America The Beautiful.

The song is missing a very crucial ingredient, the higher background vocals of Michael Anthony. Wolfie's voice is too low and doesn't provide the necessary blend Anthony brought. It isn't noticeable in a live concert setting, but on an album it is painfully obvious. I don't know if Van Halen (Alex, Wolfie, Eddie, and Dave) miss Anthony, but traditional fans will notice that BIG gap.

I don't hate the song, but will admit it isn't the strongest song to release right away. I question the decision making on WHY this song out of the other 12. Why choose this one? If they feel this one was the strongest of the 12 then Van Halen fans get ready for the trainwreck. We still have She's the Woman a reworking of the original demo from 1976 to look forward to.

As for the fans complaining about the video, I never understood that logic. It looks like a black and white version of Jump to me. People love the video for Jump, so why not enjoy this one. I like seeing the band having a good time and enjoying themselves on stage. It's not a serious video about a woman getting drunk and getting tattooed with a hipster filter on the lens like so many other videos released. Suck it up.

My verdict on the tune: I don't hate it, but I don't really LOVE it like I love Unchained, Feel Your Love, etc.

At the Drive In Reforming

At the Drive In broke up in 2001 arguably at the height of their popularity. It was explained that they were going on an indefinite hiatus due to excessive touring, artistic differences, and "excessive hype." The band members went on to form other bands like Sparta and Mars Volta, but those bands, for me, never lived up to the caliber of music At the Drive In produced and released.

The band relaunched their website with only a small video and the following statement:

To whom it may concern: At the Drive In will be breaking their 11 year silence. This station is now operational.

I think if you call yourself a music fan, you need Relationship of the Command in your music library. Here is One Armed Scissor from the album.

Tony Iommi Has Lymphoma

Tony Iommi, Black Sabbath guitarist (duh!), has been diagnosed with lymphoma. It is in the early stages, which is good news that they were able to catch it early. That is a testament to getting your old ass to the doctors often you old Iatrophobes.

Iommi is 63 years old and fighting lymphoma is no joke. The treatment can range from chemotherapy to radiotherapy to even a bone marrow transplant. Iommi is working with his doctors to establish the best treatment plan and remains upbeat and determined to make a full and successful recovery. The rest of the members of Black Sabbath have flown to England to continue working on new material with producer Rick Rubin.

This is a perfect opportunity for me to sing the praises of Bethematch.org. Bone marrow is needed every day and the chances of you being a match for someone on the list suffering from cancer or some other disease is astronomical. But wouldn't you want the ability to save someone's life if you had the chance? I signed up a while ago, but haven't been contacted yet. I probably never will, but the small amount of pain I would have to endure to save someone else's life would be worth it to me. Give the site a look and hopefully you decide to sign up and potentially save a child's life...or hell maybe even Tony Iommi.

Get well Tony. I'm eager to hear this new Black Sabbath material. I've been waiting decades to hear it.

Van Halen A Different Kind of Truth Tracklisting

Yup, 24/7 Van Halen news coverage up in this bitch. Just released a few hours ago is an alleged tracklisting from the first album with David Lee Roth at the Van Halen helm. That album will be called A Different Kind of Truth and the first single will be called Tattoo. Here is the tracklisting:

Tattoo
She's The Woman
You and Your Blues
China Town
Blood and Fire
Bullethead
As Is
Honeybabysweetiedoll
The Trouble With Never
Outta Space
Stay Frosty
Big River
Beats Workin'

I don't think we really get a feel for the album, any album, through tracklisting. But it is the best reason to post this 30 second clip I found on YouTube. The 30 second preview is a supposed clip of Tattoo, the first single.


Um, ok. Certainly that wasn't David Lee Roth channeling Lou Reed was it? The mix is all wrong, I can barely hear the guitar work or the hell the music at all. And David Lee Roth sounds like Ben Sommer. What the fuck is going on here?

When I heard the news of a Roth/Van Halen album I was excited....well Dr. Frankenfurter saw me


But I am very apprehensive right now. This is only a 30 second rip and I can not, journalistic integrity yo, slam this entire record on a 30 second sampling. I am apprehensive about it now.

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