WMMR is a local rock station who have decided to put on a summer rock festival. It is similar to KROQ in Los Angeles, but with whatever schlop is on their station. Generally they do a good job putting on a festival of young bands, old bands, and popular bands.

Last year they had ZZ Top and The Offspring, the year before Stone Temple Pilots. Well this year it is GRUNGEFEST. You thought grunge died with Kurt Cobain, you were WRONG. Headlining the festival is Alice in Chains and Stone Temple Pilots. Then Post-grunge band Three Days Grace and Three Days Grace meets Jesus band, Skillet. But my favorite addition to this bill is Fuel.

Now I know what you are all thinking..."Craig, surely you jest. Fuel broke up a while ago so Bret Scallions could follow his dream of being the assistant jizz mopper in a porn theater in Boston." Well BnR reader, don't call me Shirley and he was the assistant to the assistant jizz mopper at that porn theater.

Fuel has reunited with original lead singer Bret Scallions after the beer swilling frat boy, Toryn Green left or was kicked out. Frankly I don't know because Fuel's Wikipedia page still has him as the lead singer.

You don't remember Toryn Green? He sang on Fuel's album Angels and Demons. You don't remember that album? Well that is understandable because it stunk. Here is his Wiki.

Fuel's Wikipedia page doesn't have anything about Bret reuniting for this festival, which is bizarre. Am I breaking this news?

In that case, maybe I should write their press release:

Philadelphia, PA — After years of being apart, like estranged lovers who share a child together, Bret Scallions, Carl Bell, and Jeff Abercrombie have reunited their band Fuel. The pop grunge act of the 90's with hits like Sunburn, Hemorrhage (In My Hands), and Falls on Me, will be ready to SLAY the summer festival scene. Having sold eleventy bazillion records, Fuel is ready to take the cash and run this summer.

You can read our review of STP at the last WMMR B-Q here.

        

Remember the 00 decade? It was a barren wasteland for rock radio. Post-grunge bands ruled the airwaves and bands like Smile Empty Soul gave Wentzes a reason to "Do it for the drugs." I can remember a thousand frat guys fist pumping to that song as if they were so cool because FINALLY there was a song about drugs that encapsulated their life. Frat guys never pay attention to lyrics and women saying no.

I thought Smile Empty Soul broke up, but apparently they are HEADLINING a North American tour with Soil. How can a band who has literally dropped off the face of the Earth and the musical scene headline anything? The mind boggles, but according to their Wikipedia page, they have had to fight the man (recording companies).

If you want to relive the 00's, maybe Smile Empty Soul will be coming to a town near you.

Mar 26 - Tempe, AZ - Clubhouse
Mar 28 - Denver, CO - Marquis Theater
Mar 29 - Colorado Springs, CO - Black Sheep
Apr 01 - Waterloo, IA - Spicoli's Rock Garden
Apr 02 - Madison, WI - The Annex
Apr 03 - Milwaukee, WI - Rave Bar
Apr 07 - Traverse City, MI - Streeters
Apr 08 - Dayton, OH - MCGuffys
Apr 09 - Columbus, OH - Al Rosa Villa
Apr 10 - Detroit, MI - Harpo's
Apr 11 - Cleveland, OH - Peabody's
Apr 12 - Toronto, ONT - The Wreck Room
Apr 14 - Syracuse, NY - Lost Horizon
Apr 16 - Poughkeepsie, NY - The Chance
Apr 17 - Allston, MA - Harper's Ferry
Apr 18 - Farmindale, NY - Crazy Donkey
Apr 20 - Charlotte, NC - Amos Southend
Apr 21 - Jacksonville, NC - Rock Shop
Apr 22 - Beaufort, SC - House Of Tunes
Apr 24 - Jacksonville, FL - Brewster's Pit
Apr 27 - Shreveport, LA -Riverside Warehouse
Apr 29 - Sauget, IL -Pop's
Apr 30 - Louisville, KY - Phoenix Hill Tavern
May 01 - Flint, MI - Machine Shop

        

There are a lot of whores in the music industry. Music whores are accomplished musicians who lend themselves out to the dumbest shit. Take for instance, Elton John. He is a very accomplished penis and an excellent dick writer. Oh sorry, that was Freudian. Pianist and song writer. But Elton whored himself out for a duet with Lady Gaga during the Grammy Awards. Slash did the same thing with T Pain and Jamie Foxx later in the Grammy telecast.

Maybe I can't fault the artist too much. Maybe the idea sounds awesome at first, but then turns south. Take for instance the following news, Mary J. Blige will try her hand at the Led Zeppelin classic Stairway to Heaven. Not content on having destroyed One by U2, ol Mary is going to over sing and vocally run over another rock classic. I can just hear her version now: "She's buy-uy-uy-uy-uy-uy-uying a Stair-air-air-air-air way to HEAVEN!"

I am more excited about the news of the guitarist she chose, Steve Vai. Vai told VH1:

"You know, you gotta be really careful when you're gonna consider playing a song like this because it's just steeped in folklore and respect and it's been played by everybody," Vai said. "I believe it's the most requested song in history. So I was trying first to imagine how it was going to sound and then the moment that I heard that Mary J. was doing it, I actually have her records, so I went, 'Oh my God, this is going to be great.' And we got into the studio and just blasted it out. It was amazing. It was really special."

He is right. While I think Stairway isn't the best Led Zeppelin, it is their most popular and people have perceptions about it. I am intrigued to hear their take on it. INo word on when the song will be released, why the song was recorded, or how in the hell Steve Vai, Mary J. Blige, Travis Barker, and Randy Jackson of Journey and American Idol fame, decided to work together.

        

Eric Powell has created the greatest metal poster for Roller Derby. Eric Powell is an artist, illustrator, and comic book creator. You can read an interview with him here.

However, he has created the single greatest poster for a metal band, but it is for the Nashville Roller Derby girls.



Look at that thing. It is beautiful. She has pointy gauntlets like a medieval roller queen. Her bulging biceps of pain holding up that iron knuckle gauntlet. She is carrying that double edged battle ax that has seen its fair share of battle and skulls. That helmet is glorious and William Wallace himself wishes he had a helmet that majestic. I am very afraid and totally erect at the amount of destruction, and fun sexually, I would have with a Nashville Roller Girl. I wonder if they would still have sex with me in my level 15 Wizard suit?

If I was a metal band, I would give Eric Powell all the money we had to create our image. The man is a genius.

        

You want a Gibson guitar like the kind Wolfmother front man Andrew Stockdale plays? Who the hell doesn't? Well Wolfmother and Blogs N' Roses have teamed up to give one lucky fan a brand new Gibson SG.

That's right! All you have to do is click the banner below and follow the instructions on screen. Good luck. Contest ends March 4th, 2010.

        

Miles Kennedy of Alter Bridge will front Slash's solo band. Slash issued the update through his MySpace site.

Also, I want to announce that Myles Kennedy [Alter Bridge] is going to be fronting the band for the upcoming tour. Something I'm really stoked about.

"Myles sang a killer track on the record and I think he is by far one of the best rock and roll singers out there today. I'm really honored and proud to be working with him.

I never had a problem with Miles, I just hated the fact he was backed by Creed. But the music they produced wasn't bad. I have heard worse. His singing is great and I am looking forward to hearing this collaboration and maybe checking out Saul and Miles on tour.

        

Jesus Christ, it doesn't end. Joe Perry is still out talking in the media about Steven Tyler. This time, Steven apparently tried out for Led Zeppelin after Robert Plant passed on the reunion in 2008.

Perry shared the details of Tyler's ill-fated attempt to front Zeppelin, telling Classic Rock magazine, "Steven disappeared and I called around. Somebody said he was in London trying out for Led Zeppelin. It's something I've never talked about before. It's a kind of window into how hard it's been to keep the partnership together. It's not the first time things like this have happened— that's the downside of our relationship.

What is amazing about this, there would be no Aerosmith without Led Zeppelin. Tyler LOVES Zeppelin more than life itself. Here comes the interesting part,

According to what Jimmy Page told Perry, the rehearsals were "shambolic," with Tyler unfamiliar with the Zeppelin catalogue and under the impression they would be working on new material.

Perry added: "Page felt really awkward about the audition, but ultimately it was a group decision (to pass on Tyler)."

Uh, what? "Unfamiliar with the Zeppelin catalog"? I am not a big Led Zeppelin fan, and I am very familiar with the Led Zeppelin catalog. I don't really know what to think of this news. I can't decide if it is Joe Perry trying to align the public with his thinking of carrying on Aerosmith sans Tyler or just trying to tear Tyler down.

Either way the news was too juicy not to spread around. But like Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin can not replace Robert Plant. Maybe Jimmy Page can talk some sense into Joe Perry and have him abandon the hopes of a non-Tyler fronted Aerosmith.

        

I have to get something off my chest. Judas Priest has pissed me off. I stood in line for hours just to meet Judas Priest. I even wore assless chaps to try and convince Rob Halford to just spend a few more minutes with me. That didn't work.

I read a story on a big rock news aggregator that said "Judas Priest Interviewed by Snooki from The Jersey Shore." That headline made me punch the hooker right in the balls. Yea, she was a tranny, so what?

A fucking reality show bitch known for being an Italian skank who gets punched in the face is interviewing British metal icons Judas Priest. Part of me blames her, but not as much as I blame Judas Priest. I have to email and call thousands of publicists to just get an email interview with some of these rock stars. I spend most of my morning and night talking to flaky publicists and record company lackeys trying to line up interviews. Then I am blown off at the last minute because the NY Times calls or some other big website wants that star's time.

But then this bite-sized bimbo gets on MTV acting like a fucking sex-crazed fool and gets to interview Judas Priest. I am NOT linking to the interview because whatever they had to say isn't worth me sitting here listening to her open up her dickhole (mouth for those uncertain of where I was going with that).

Judas Priest doesn't have to do interviews. They are big enough to push whatever the hell they want by themselves. I guess they figured that they would take MTV's sperm receptacle and try to gain some publicity out of it after their Grammy Award win. I don't fucking know.

But that is why I am pissed off at Judas Priest. Also, that album Nostradamus sucked.

        

Joe Satriani needs no introduction, but I am going to give you one anyway. Joe is a legendary and innovative guitarist. He also is an excellent guitar teacher. He has taught a few Rock N' Roll's greatest guitarist (Kirk Hammett, Steve Vai, just to name a few). We have been impressed with Joe's live show both solo and with Chickenfoot and his playing is second to none.

That is why when we got only a few minutes with Joe, we had to take it. We wanted the interview to be longer, but when you are a star as big as Joe is right now, he only has a few minutes. Joe is promoting the latest release of his Live in Paris: I Just Wanna Rock DVD and dual CD set. Live in Paris: I Just Wanna Rock was filmed on May 27, 2008 at the Grand Rex Theater in Paris, France. The brand new live two-disc CD and DVD was released on February 2, 2010 through Epic Records.

BnR: You just released Live in Paris: I Just Wanna Rock. How was the Parisian audience during filming of the DVD?

Satriani: The Parisian people were fantastic. Everyone was great that night. They were an inspiration.

BnR: You are going to go out on the road with a few well-known artists doing an All-Star Jimi Hendrix tribute, one of your musical idols. After those shows, what is on the horizon for you? Maybe another solo record or something with Chickenfoot?

Satriani: I will be in the studio this summer recording a new solo CD. I will be following up that CD with a solo tour. In between all that, I will have a lot of writing sessions with Chickenfoot.

BnR: How do you craft a song? Do you start with a pen and paper or start riffing on the guitar?

Satriani: Sometimes the song just pops in my head. Other times I’ll be playing one thing, then, all of a sudden I get an idea for something new. It’s always a new experience.

BnR: On the cover of Surfing with the Alien, you use Silver Surfer. This begs the question, if Joe Satriani was a superhero, who would he be?

Satriani: Having super powers would be fun. If your power gave you the ability to change wrong to right, hate to love, or, even boring to fun, that would be cool. One thing for sure; no funny, tight fitting costumes!

BnR: One final question before you leave, you are a legendary and innovative guitarist, a very accomplished songwriter, and an excellent teacher. What is your advice for aspiring musicians?

Satriani: Practice as much as possible, and play as many shows as possible. There’s no substitute for experience.

We want to thank Joe for taking time out of his busy schedule to talk with us and answer our questions. We have so many more for him, but sadly, we didn't get the chance to ask him. Maybe next time. Until then, go buy Live in Paris: I Just Wanna Rock. You can find it on Amazon, or in a store near you.

        

Just because we didn't necessarily like Like a Storm's debut album The End of the Beginning (link), doesn't mean you shouldn't win a Playstation 3 from the band.

To celebrate the release of their debut album The End of the Beginning, we have teamed up with Like a Storm to give one lucky winner a Playstation 3. How awesome is that? When you win, you can jump online and let me school your ass in Call of Duty on the PSN.

Just click the banner below to be taken to a special contest page. But hurry contest ends March 15, 2010.

        

Trying to capitalize on his Grammy performance with Hollywood's latest musical flavor of the month, Lady Gaga, Elton John is going to appear on Cable's number one rated show Monday Night Raw.

Sir Elton will host cable's longest running serial next week as tension builds up to the over-the-top, decadent Wrestlemania.

"I just love seeing hard bodied, oily men, grabbing each others crotch and slamming one another on the mat. Then pinning one another so one can't escape while that person writhes in pain/pleasure trying to get loose. The only thing Raw is missing from an all out Gayapalooza is some flamboyancy like I have." Sir Elton said to BnR via phone interview.

Every week to try and boost ratings, the WWE Raw brand has had guest hosts popular to their demographic. Washed up aging wrestlers (Bret Hart) and NASCAR drivers (um, I don't know any NASCAR drivers so insert your favorite here) have been able to script their own matches and run the show as they see fit.

Last night, notable wig wearer William Shatner, scheduled a triple threat match for the Unified Tag Titles. When asked what Elton was going to do different he said, "Wait, there are going to be six beautifully sculpted, sweaty men in the ring at the same time? And one of them is that cute boyish wrestler The Miz?  Looks like I am going to have to bring some lube!"

Elton always comes out of his proverbial closet once or twice a year, choosing the grandest stages to do collaborations. A few years ago he appeared on the Grammy stage with Eminem to show that Eminem doesn't hate gays. Like a performance on one show was going to prove that.

This year Elton chose to perform with the audible syphilis giver Lady Gaga, whose catchy dance songs infect your ears with music you can't shake without antibiotics. But not content on just those performances, Elton is trying to expand his ever sinking star with Raw is War.

"I have felt that my world is shrinking because I am not out in the public as often as I was. I need to expand my star[fish] again and Monday Night Raw is the best place to find a new audience willing to embrace my star[fish] and take control of it."

We look forward to seeing what Elton has in store for the likes of Triple H, John Cena, and that young Adonis The Miz.

        

This is a unique opportunity for United States residents only. Slash and Guitar Center are offering a very unique experience where Slash will play on your lead single and you will get a three song EP produced by Mike Clink (Guns N' Roses, Motley Crue, Megadeth). That isn't all though, you also need to sign your life away. But don't worry about that.

There are a lot of great unsigned bands that have a legitimate shot at winning this thing. If you make it to the big dance, email us. We will have our readers vote for you. Go to the official contest page to apply.

        

Every year I suffer through the Grammy Awards so you don't have to. I sit there biting my tongue as no talent hacks like Jamie Foxx auto-tune the shit out of their "music." I sit there listening to every record label and self-indulgent music prick suck each other off and pat one another on the back. "Good job Roger, You REALLY swallowed that big load from Beyonce."

We hate the Grammy Awards because it is specifically designed to idolize what is popular and sheeple go out and buy the "Grammy Nominated" album. It is all marketing. The awards have ZERO clout when Milli Vanilli (renowned lip syncers) get one.

The Grammy's have even realized this as the telecast last night was spent with self-indulgent, over-the-top performances.

Some notable low lights....Elton John playing piano with that transvestite Lady GaGa. I always knew Elton was a whore for publicity (see his stunt with Eminem way back). I never thought he would lower himself to perform with today's throw away pop icon. But there he was.

Slash performed a guitar solo with In Living Color actor turned shit musician Jamie Foxx and T-Pain. If you can't sing, you use ProTools to help your voice get in the right key. If you can't sing and Pro Tools can't help you....you use Auto-tune. Some artists use Auto-tune to emphasize certain parts. Then there is T-Pain who uses it for mundane tasks as reciting his shopping list.

So Slash comes out, who is also a whore, and does a guitar solo. It is just a shame I couldn't hear one note of it. The Auto-tune was flying around the Staples Center and drowned out his guitar work. I have no idea if his guitar was even plugged in.

Another travesty is the Les Paul tribute. It was two minutes, while Pink, half naked, squirted cum all over the stage while singing. Jeff Beck barely showed his guitar capability and Les Paul deserved more than two fucking minutes. The guy revolutionized rock guitar. Shit he invented the solid body electric guitar and all he gets is two minutes.

I was really struggling to find a moment I laughed at or thought was a good performance. The Zac Brown band winning for Best New Artist beating out the hipster dance band MGMT and The Ting Tings was sweet.

And sadly, I have to admit the Dave Matthews Band put on a good performance. Big Whiskey and the Groo Grux King is probably Dave's best album and the only one I find tolerable. Too bad his annoying fans ruin it and their unending fellation of Dave, ruin it for me.

All in all it was another miss-able Grammy show. There is nothing that can save that awards show. But enjoy your awards Taylor Swift. At least Nickelback didn't win....much to Lars Wettner's chagrin.

I leave you with the Simpsons take on the Grammys.

Homer Simpson: Oh why wont anyone give me an award?
Lisa Simpson: You won a Grammy.
Homer Simpson: I mean an award thats worth something.
[announcement on the bottom of the screen- Legal Disclaimer: Mr.
Simpson's opinions do not reflect those of the producers, who don't
consider the Grammy an award at all.]

        

I have devastating news. Limp Biscuit is set to release their latest single. I hear it will be released to radio on February 10. Other reports are claiming Feb 10 online and around the 15th for radio.

As we reported here, the new album will be titled Gold Cobra. This lead, the always intelligent, Fred Durst to release this message on his Twitter page:

"(It's) looking like our new single will be finding its way to you more like February-ish. Just making sure everything is ready to strike!"

GET IT!!?? LIKE A COBRA!?!

I had a friend describe Limp Biscuit this way:

"Limp Bizkit? Yea I remember them. They had one good musician and the rest of the band danced and sang around him. It was like they put the guitarist in a monkey cage at the zoo, but with more poop flinging."

Well said. GOLD COBRA!

        

Is there anything that can stop Joe Perry from finding a new front man for Aerosmith? Someone please, anyone. I beg you to step forward and stop this travesty from happening.

Oh, it looks like Steven Tyler himself is going to put a halt to it. It seems Steven's new manager, Skip Miller, has sent a letter to Aerosmith’s management threatening legal action if the band makes good on their promise to tour with a new singer.

Thank god! An Aerosmith without Steven Tyler is not an Aerosmith I want to see. And I enjoy laughing at train wrecks.

Miller asserts that Tyler is synonymous with Aerosmith: “Can you imagine the manager of the Rolling Stones calling for the replacement of Mick Jagger?” Miller writes. “Steven is Aerosmith, along with the others. He’s the guy the public knows. He’s the singer.”

By God I think he's got it. Now if only Joe Perry will listen.

Article

        

Classic Rock Magazine revealed that at the Classic Rock Roll Of Honour in London last November, Joe Perry asked Paul Rodgers to be the frontman of Aerosmith. You may recall that November was when Aerosmith’s troubles with singer Steven Tyler were just beginning to surface.

I don't see how that could work at all. Paul Rodgers singing Dude Looks Like a Lady? Nope, won't work. I also don't believe Paul would want to be known as "the guy who replaces iconic lead singers." You may remember he replaced Freddy Mercury in Queen + Paul Rodgers.

Besides, Paul is focused on the Bad Company reunion. But Classic Rock Magazine has also revealed Joe Perry has asked Chris Cornell and Billy Idol to front Aerosmith.

This is becoming a joke. While I would probably see all of these versions (Cornell fronted, Rodgers fronted, Idol fronted), it would only be because I wanted to see how they compared to Steven Tyler.

My heels are dug in on this issue. No one should replace Steven as lead singer of Aerosmith. Just wait until he rights his ship and then go out and tour. Every summer in the States doesn't need another Aerosmith tour.

You can read more about the incident at Classic Rock Magazine here.

        

I woke up this morning, wiped my blurry eyes, and turned on my computer. I opened the BnR mail and looked through the tips.

Nickelback's setlist last night...trash. Pictures of Creed in Las Vegas...delete. Duff is writing with Jane's Addiction...huh?

Thanks to reader Tim, Duff McKagen is apparently writing with Jane's Addiction. A Jane's Addiction fan web site Xiola.org has reported that Velvet Revolver and ex-Guns N' Roses bass player Duff McKagan is writing and recording with the band. This follows the departure of original member Eric Avery for the second time in the group's history.

Let me be clear on this though, writing and collaborating is NOT the same as touring. Whether Jane's and Duff collaborate on an album is an interesting thought, but it doesn't get this jaded dumbass hard. Duff McKagen touring with Jane's would. But no official word on them touring nor Duff being added as an official touring bassist.

Hell Flea toured with Jane's in like 99 or something. That was a cool tour. Flea really brought a lot to Jane's Addiction. I am hoping that Duff can do the same. Maybe Duff can breathe new life into this tired band.

        

We have brought you breaking Steven Tyler news of him singing to customers in a Home Depot, waiting on people in a Denny's, and now Ross.

Dress for Less is the big stores slogan and Tyler agrees with the sentiment. Tyler would like to get his Brand Tyler jeans in all of Ross' department stores across the US.

Tyler decided to run into Ross and grab some jeans. But not being able to resist a microphone, he decided to sing "Toys in the Attic" and "Big Ten Inch Record."

A loyal Blogs N' Roses viewer caught this exclusive picture of Steven leaving the Ross store in Rancho Mirage.



It is hard to tell if that is actually Steven, but that was as close as our contact could get.

        

When I was a radio DJ, I thought it would be a cool segment to do a rock cover block. I proposed every Thursday there was going to be a different cover version (rock related). It could be a cover you know (Van Halen's (Oh) Pretty Woman). It could also be a cover version you have never heard. It might suck, it might rock. I didn't care and still don't.

But since radio DJing blows (the hours) and a monkey can push touch screens, I have taken my idea and applied it to BnR. However, the main site is not going to be cluttered with this every Thursday.

You will need to be our friends on Twitter (www.twitter.com/blogsnroses) or Facebook (www.facebook.com/blogsnroses) Every Thursday I will treat you to a different cover version. Both are absolutely free and will offer you the chance for exclusive contests, cool videos, and inane bantering by your least favorite person...ME!

Today, just to whet your appetite, I have decided to embed the video below. Introducing Red's cover version of Ordinary World by Duran Duran.

        

I remember when I was in Korea and Japan. I was part of the United State Karate team, they called me Craigson. We were travelling around Korea and access to phones and internet was limited since Buddhist temples are not really up on technology.

I get to call home for the first time in five days and the first thing out of my sister's mouth, who answered the phone, was "Dave Williams is dead."

I had to quickly run through my internal Rolodex and make sure I didn't personally know Dave Williams.

"You know the guy from Drowning Pool. You like that band, well he is dead." I am not sure my sister's intentions on telling me the news, but it did have a demoralizing effect. I slept with dirty Korean prostitutes, drank too much rice wine, and got into a fight with a Japanese business man. I just didn't want to live if Dave Williams didn't.

Drowning Pool is back though and doing fairly well for themselves, though my tastes in music has changed. It isn't easy to come back from the death of your lead singer, some bands can do it. (AC/DC). I am giving Drowning Pool the benefit of the doubt. So here is their latest single and the behind the scenes feature.